Unlocking My Secret: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Sensual Exploration

I had been masturbating for a couple of weeks, at that point. I had fallen in love with my lunch break between classes, when I would get the change to make my way back home to lock myself away in the bedroom. Justin was wondering what I had been up to when I stopped going to lunch with him, as we did nearly everyday. Amy had suggested the vibrator of choice, with its ticklers to land on my clit, and its handle to quiver inside me. Everyday was the same, however; I would pop in
Justin's porno that he had no idea I had been watching, pinch, lick, and blow on my tits to harden them, and then give my little secret toy all the passage into my sex that my perverted mind
desired. Sometimes, I would get so frustrated and antsy that I would show the entire thing into my body to pulsate inside me, or I would push it as hard against my clit as I possibly could. Sometimes, I was even left sore.

Over time, it wasn't enough; it was time to order a new edition. I had been watching Justin's porn
just to be watching it to see what I could learn to pleasure myself even more. In one of his nastier
DVDs, I saw things I was curious to try. One in particular had a woman whose husband bought her an array of toys; among them, an inflatable butt plug. I was nervous, but my inquisitiveness
overcame it. That night, I made my way over to my computer with my credit card in hand, and I ordered a pretty little pink one, one that wouldn't actually stay little. I couldn't wait to get it, literally so to the point that I bought an express delivery package to go with it. I celebrated my new
purchase by masturbating with my vibrator each day at lunch. The day came, and with it, me. The FEDex man came to my door once again, gave me a, "Have a
good day," just as he did before, and I made my way into the bedroom to play. I locked the door behind me, stripped down to
nothing but my black lace bra and panties, and popped in my porno. I went directly to the woman
whose husband had bought out the store for her. I
watched closely to see exactly how it was done.

However, being the apprehensive person that I am, I had to warm myself up first. I rubbed my
tits through my bra first and then let it fall to the floor. I salivated onto my fingers and blew on my
tits to erect them as much as possible. Over the course of the weeks, they had begun to grow sore, which made rubbing and pinching them even better. After they were fully erect, I continued to roll them between my fingers. I was so wet. I reached down and gathered up some of my juices
to rub onto my nipples, licking off what was left on my fingers. God, it felt amazing. It didn't take me
long to figure out that I was one of a breast fetish. Sometimes in class, sitting in the back where I did, I would cross my arms so that no one could see, and I would just massage my nipples through my
shirt. God forbid anyone ever see me doing it.

I had been watching the man and his wife for quite some time by then. I was eager to get to my
new toy. My throbbing sex was begging to be abused, and I couldn't wait to see what it would
feel like to have that plug in my ass. But I was determined to play it out just like in the movies, so I waited. When I followed along with the screen, I could pretend like I was there and some man was taking advantage of my arousal. When I saw the man reach for the plug, I paused it to open my package, desperate to get busy. My excitement had become too much for me to handle, and I had to release it. I slipped off my panties and turned the movie back
on. The girl had been turned on her stomach, but when I tried to push my plug in at that angle, I
couldn't accurately reach myself in a way that I could maneuver it inside. So instead, I laid on my
side and relied on my touch to ease it in. Oh, it hurt so bad at first! But I loved it. I couldn't
believe that I loved pain. It took a few tries because of the pain. The pressure was so much, but I couldn't wait to succeed and have it inside me. If the process of putting it in was so pleasurable, how good was it going to feel once it was inflated?

And it was in.

The pressure was amazing! I took a moment as the man on the screen sucked on the woman's sex to finger the extra space in my ass. It was so small, but I knew that was about to change. He reached for the woman's pump, and I reached for mine. One pump. Two pump. Three. Four. Five! Oh my God, it was amazing! It hurt like a mother, but the sensation from the pain and
the pleasure mixed together was more than I could bear! But what was going to happen now? It
was just going to sit there? That wasn't any fun!

So, just like the man who was manipulating his wife's sex, I reached for my vibrator under my
pillow when he reached for one of his own to use on his wife. I worked my own into my pussy,
which didn't take long because of how wet I was, and laid my head back on my pillow. I had never
felt so full, so amazing, so incredible. The pressure of the vibrator and the butt plug smashing my two
gratification points sent me to a point that I had to
fight off the orgasm. Oh, the feeling! I found
myself muttering, "Oh, fuck," over and over again.
"Oh, fuck. Oh my God." And my moans were rising
above the sounds of the woman in her own sexual satisfaction. I regained myself and pushed back the orgasm
enough to turn on my vibrator. I turned it on full
blast, not bothering to go into the higher speed at
a steady pace. I was too turned on to wait.
Immediately upon turning it up, I cried out. I hope
to God the neighbors didn't hear. And I didn't stop. I was crying so loud, but I didn't care who heard
me. The feelings were too enjoyable to contain
within myself. I moaned and cursed until I felt the
feeling I had worked for; that climax that left me
shaking and gasping for air. I couldn't even wait to
catch my breath before pulling out the vibrator because it felt too good. My clit was so sensitive
after that, I didn't even want air on it. It wasn't
painful; it was just far too good to touch, and I
was too weak to, anyway. As I sometimes do after
a heavy orgasm, I fell into a hard sleep. I slept
through my next class. When I woke up, my cell phone was ringing. Still
feeling a little shaky, I reached over to pick up the
phone. My caller ID said it was Amy. Great, I
thought. It was just like her to call me in the state
I was in, with a plug still inflated in my ass and a
sticky vibrator between my legs. "Hello?" I mumbled sleepily. "Hey, Lacy! Were you asleep? You sound tired." "Yeah, I was." I didn't lie to her, hoping that she'd
get off and let me go back to sleep. "Awww, I'm sorry," was her only response to
having disturbed me. "I was just curious where
you'd been going after lunch. I guess you're at
home, right?" "Yeah. Why?" "Well, I just remembered what I suggested a while
back. You're not... are you?" What was I going to say? The thought crossed my
mind for a split second that maybe she had heard
my screams, or maybe someone else did, and it
was all over campus. That was all I needed; to the
called the campus whore. But I was, wasn't I? The
things that turned me on might have very well disgusted everyone else. Pain? Ass plugs? I doubt
people would find that normal. "No, of course not," I said, with an air in my voice
that told her I was lying. "Well," she said, "I'm going to the adult store in
an hour. I thought if you wanted, we could go
together and look at some stuff for you to
experiment with." "No, I'm not interested." I was determined to keep
my secret shame to myself. "Are you sure? Really, Lacy, everyone does it.
There's no shame in it." I thought for a moment. Amy masturbates, and
obviously has no problem with it. She was so
comfortable talking about it, I might as well trust
her. If nothing else, she could teach me some
secrets. I never found myself very fond of her,
anyway. I liked her, but we were just two very different people. I was modest and quiet; she was
loud and extroverted. At any rate, I didn't care too
much about what she thought of me. "Yeah, alright," I said. "Why the hell not? I'll see
you in an hour." "Great! I'll come pick you up," she replied. "See
you soon, Lacy." Click. I took a quick shower and put my clothes on; a
black turtleneck sweater and jeans. I didn't dress
like normal people; "normal" being the tank tops,
the miniskirts... I enjoyed being a little different.
Who would think someone like me capable of
pleasuring myself? I had just written a note and left it for Justin when
Amy pulled up and honked her horn. I grabbed my
purse and went outside to greet her. "Ready?" "Yeah," I answered. "Where are we going,
exactly? Will people see us there?" "If they do, who cares?" she started the car and
began backing out. "And it's a little store on a
corner about ten minutes away. Not a lot of people
go there." I was relieved. Really, this was my secret, and
Amy's now. If it ever got out that I was shopping
at an adult store and got around to my religion-
fanatic family, it'd kill them. They'd swear I was
possessed by a demon. I had to keep it to myself,
and I hoped to God that Amy wouldn't tell anyone. "Hey, have you and Justin fucked?" Shock! "What?" "Have you had sex with your boyfriend of over a
year now?" "No." "Why on earth not, Lacy?!" "I'm just not ready to!" I argued. "I'm a virgin,
and it doesn't bother Justin that we don't do it." "Sure, he may say that. But you know, he's just
going to end up getting it from somewhere else.
And you know he jacks off." I had never wondered if Justin masturbated. I was
too fascinated with my own practice, and the
thought had never crossed my mind that maybe
he was doing it, too. "You wouldn't know that." "Men have to, dear," she continued. "Their balls
get sore and swollen if they don't spew a seeds
once in a while." Her way of speaking made me cringe. "I've not
ever heard that." "Well, they do. I promise. I don't know why you
two won't just do it." That thought HAD crossed my mind. I was
enjoying sex by myself. I wondered how much
more fun it would be like to have an actual dick
inside me. And Justin, I knew, wasn't a virgin. He
would definitely know how to treat me. But I
wouldn't even know how to initiate that conversation. Hey, Justin, want to fuck me? Sure,
let's just come out and say it like that. He would
laugh at me. "Show him signs that you want to do it," Amy
said. "Let him come home to find you lying in bed
in a little sexy negligee. Put a condom by the bed.
Do something to let him know you're interested!
Christ, you can't expect him to read your mind." "Read my mind? Geez, Amy, I didn't know you
could. What makes you think I want to do
anything with him like that right now?" She smiled. "I'm not stupid." I began to argue, but she had already pulled over
and announced that we had arrived. I looked
around. I had expected to see some huge sign
that said XXX, or something similar; something
that would make me hide my face from passersbys
on the street. I guess, though, that people who went there were just regulars and always knew
where to find it. The store was huge, much bigger than it appeared
to be on the outside. There were aisles of movies,
and the whole back of the store was closed off
with racks that had different signs hanging above
each section: BONDAGE. FEMALE. MALE. FETISH.
VIBRATORS AND DILDOS. GAY/LESBIAN. I cringed at seeing them all. Why on earth had I agreed to
be in a place like this with a person like Amy? "Let's go," she said, seeing the trepidation on my
face and grabbing my wrist. "Come on!" She
seemed so excited. "I don't know about this anymore." "Yeah, you do. Maybe we can find something for
you and Justin to use!" I sighed and allowed her to lead me over to the
FEMALE section. There, I saw toys that none of
my internet searches turned up; suction cups for
nipples, clit ticklers, a spinning tongue, among the
biggest dildos I had ever seen in my life. I find it
hard to believe that any woman's sex could be stretched large enough to house one of them. "Lacy!" Amy called. She had made her way over to
a rack of toys without my having noticed. "Come
look at this!" I walked over to where she was. She was holding
a plastic package that said Jaws. Below that, there
was a caption that read, It will never let you go. It
showed a woman with nothing on but an orange
thong, and what appeared to be a bulge in her
underwear. "Gross," I said. "What is this?" "It's a vibrator that's attached to the panties," she
said. "It will stay in you as long as the underwear
stays on. And a man can go in your ass with a
thong on. Imagine Justin's surprise when he goes
in your ass and feels a little tickle!" "No, Amy!" I argued. "This is disgusting." Secretly
though, I didn't want her to know that I was
curious. She must've known this, however, as she
gave me a you-know-I'm-right-and-you-want-this
look. I was obviously defeated. Giving up and sighing, I asked, "How much is it?" She smiled, pointing out the price marker to me.
It was on sale; $19.95. I could swing that... We looked for a few more minutes. I had a credit
card, and Amy knew I had been fucking myself at
home. Where else was I going at lunch? She had
to know, so I went crazy; I bought nipple clamps,
a double-dildo, and a gag and rope bondage set.
After my over-hundred-dollar purchase, I was allowed a free vibrator, anything priced at my
cheapest purchase or under. Since my cheapest
purchase was twenty dollars, I was able to get a
pretty decent vibrator, one with a much larger
diameter than the one at home. I swiped my card
through and waited for Amy to finish with her purchase. She wouldn't show me what she had
picked out. She just said, "It's an initiation present
for you." Whatever that means... Once we were back in the car, Amy said, "How
about going over to Victoria's Secret and finding
something for Justin?" I wasn't going to argue. I had let loose and didn't
care what Amy saw me doing or buying. She was
going to keep a secret, just as I was going to keep
her own. I just nodded, and with a smile, we
turned up another road.