Reliving Childhood Fears and Memories: A Journey of Loss and Regret

I wrote this story back in 1987 (when I was 22) it was suggested I should write a story about one of my biggest fears. Note that this was written several years before marriage and kids.


Last 10 Seconds

It's June 15th in a small bar somewhere in Indianapolis, Greg Smith is sitting mumbling that life stinks and telling everyone that gets within hearing distance that tomorrow is his 28th birthday, but no one pays much attention to him. Greg leaves the bar just after midnight to go back to his apartment, from there he goes to the roof and sits on the ledge waiting for the sun to rise and he starts singing to himself, "Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me..."

* Christmas morning, and a 5 year old Greg Smith is sitting in front of the tree opening up his Christmas presents, a big smile covers his face as he sees a new rocking horse with a cowboy outfit laying across the saddle. Greg hurriedly grabs the outfit and puts it on. Then he gets on the horse and giggles with joy as he rocks back and forth shooting invisible Indians.

* It's Prom night the band is playing a slow love ballad, everyone is out on the dance floor, Greg is with his date Sheri Jones, they are dancing very slow in each others arms, looking deep into each other's eyes. When the song ends they kiss and walk back to their table hand in hand very much in love.

* A bright sunny day in July, a group of kids are riding their bikes through some woods, they are racing each other along the narrow paths and steep hills, as they pass one certain section of the path that is less than a foot wide to the right is thick with trees and the other side is a cliff that drops at an 80 degree angle to a small creek. A 10 year old Greg tries to pass his younger brother his front tire slides
off the edge of the path and sends him and his bike rolling down the hill into the shallow creek 65 feet down. After the shock of hitting the water and then being hit by his own twisted bike Greg stands up in the creek with blood and mud covering his face and arms, he wipes his eyes then looks up at the path where the rest of the kids are starting to climb down, he then passes out falling onto the bank just as
his friends get there.

* Its a birthday party with about 20 kids, Greg blows out 2 candles a "1" and a "6", after they eat cake and ice cream his parents take him out in the back yard. It's a sunny day, Greg's parents give him a set of keys which go to his last present, which is a custom built 67 black mustang sitting at the top of the
hill with the sun reflecting off the windshield and chrome.

* It's a dark and rainy day Greg and his younger brother at about 7 and 8 are out playing in the mud and water, they're throwing mud balls at each other and are both covered in mud from head to toe, they're laughing and having a good time. The rain starts coming down harder, rinsing the mud off of the boys like a giant shower, then the rain starts to feel like little pins hitting their skin so they run into the garage.
Mom walks out into the garage and sees the boys, she just shakes her head and says "well it looks like you two had fun today" the boys look up at her smiling through their dirty faces, she then hands them both towels and they start drying off with mom's help, giggling and laughing.

* A station wagon starts sliding sideways on the rain slick road it then flies off the road, wraps around a telephone poll and bursts into flames. A 17 year old Greg is sitting with his younger brother and sister crying, they are at a funeral sitting in front of 3 caskets, the minister is praying over the Father, Mother, and older sister which had died in the car accident. The kids are so upset that their aunt had to take them home before the funeral was over.

* In a dentist office a 6 year old Greg is sitting in the dentist chair with tears in his eyes, as the dentist has the drill getting ready to put in some fillings.

* On a bright snowy day Greg, his brother and two sisters are about 5 through 9 years old they are sledding on the hill in their backyard, they spend all day on the hill taking turns using the 3 sleds and also enjoying a few snowball fights, they would also build small ramps in the snow and see who could jump the farthest without falling off the sled.

* It's another depressing day in court as a 27 year old Greg is being divorced by Sheri, they are battling over the house and custody of their 2 year old son. The court battle is long and ugly, in

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