A Teenage Boy's Journey to Self-Discovery and Forbidden Desires

Minding Others
by DiscipleN


Chapter 1

I have an older brother and two younger sisters. Mother is divorced, and my few memories of my father aren't so memorable. He left us while mom was pregnant with Shelley. I forgot about him by the time I learned to jerk off. Once when I was nine years old, I interrupted Rodney masturbating in the john. Of course anything he could do I had to ape. His face burned red, and I though he was angry with me, but he was just embarrassed. He tried to tell me it was no big deal, but his voice quivered like I'd caught him flushing a loved but dead pet. The rest of my sexual education I picked up from mom and school. When I asked her a question, mother would answer briefly but reasonably. Long before puberty turned my life into a freak show, I had seen no less than five 'serious' films about it. Mother answered my other questions, but I was shy about asking. That's not surprising, considering my older brother's embarrassment, my mother's terseness, school's antiseptic treatment, and American culture's manic-depressive sexual lifestyle. Since puberty, I've made some changes, but the world isn't yet the sex positive heaven I'm fucking to create.

Puberty bloomed late in my life. My dick spurted cum for the first time when I was fourteen. The rest of my adult changes also arrived slowly. Sediment grows faster than the hair on my face, groin, and armpits. I may be a little short at 5' 7", but my penis isn't. It was lucky to get a couple extra inches over the national average, and I'm glad it's not bigger. Most of my younger 'friends' don't enjoy getting their cervixes pounded. At fourteen, I was pretty anxious about the fact I hadn't developed, and I took a lot of teasing.

I remember being ill on my first day of manhood, very ill. Fever's sweat soaked me, and I thrashed upon my bed from hallucinations. I dreamed about witches and curses. They flew on Snoopy dog-house Sopwith Camels, buzzing all around me. The witches kept sucking me into their dog house entrances. For a moment I'd be cold, huddled in darkness, shivering, trying to shake my fear. I held my cock for warmth. Then a spark of frustration leapt within my heart. It erupted into fire, and I burned my way out of the dog house with flaming piss.

The witch would fall from the sky in a smoking, roaring spiral. I heard her curse me. I heard them all curse me, until every flying witch had been burned out of the sky. It was the same curse, each time. "Mind yourself child, or you'll grow up minding others!"

"You'll grow up minding others!"

"You'll grow up minding others!"

... all the way down, until they hit the ground and burst into dust.

I burst somewhere between my legs. I was wrapped in blankets. My senses reeled, overloaded and confused. Mother, hovering close, pressed cold compresses to my forehead, trying to soothe me.

"They're just bad dreams, honey. They'll go away. Can you hear me?"

I saw her. At least, what I saw was mostly composed of her features. She didn't look like a witch. She was beautiful, extra beautiful, lovelier than sunsets on tropical islands, lovelier than street lamps in fog, lovelier than the moon over a mountain camp.

"I love you mother!" I spoke wildly.

"Oh, baby. You'll get better." She hugged me through the blankets.

I kept shivering. The wetness between my legs was cooling. I thought I had peed on myself. I was suddenly so embarrassed. When you're fourteen, there's nothing like wetting your bed in front of your mother to chill a fever.

"Oh shit!" I shouted, and immediately was more embarrassed.

"What's the matter?"

"Mommy, oh mommy... I-I uh, I think I..." I gulped. "I'm so cold!" My vision remained blurry. I couldn't tell if the blankets were as wet on the outside as they felt on the inside. They kept crawling over my body.

For a second, I imagined mom crawling under the covers with me. Then I imagined she was a cow standing in the room, chewing on my Godzilla doll. My head wasn't in the clear yet. I blacked out.

I woke again to the sound of splashing. I was splashing in the tub. It was full of ice! I was freezing, and my head felt like a rock. I looked around the bathroom gripping the edge of the tub ready to execute a hasty escape.

Rodney laughed. "Brother, stay right were you are. If you start raving about butt fucking tele-evangelists again, I'll drive you to one of them and let them drive the devil out of you."

My brother watched too much television.

"I'm freezing! Let me out of here." I tried to get up, but he was a good two years older, and HIS puberty was a distant memory. He held me in the tub with one hand.

"MOM! I think his fever broke." Rodney yelled at the top of his lungs.

She had been waiting outside the door. She opened it and shuffled in. Averting her eyes from my body, she held out a thick towel. "Get him up and help dry him. I'll get a blanket to wrap him." She left.

I managed to stand and step out of the tub by myself, but my arms were weak. I could barely hold the towel. Rodney didn't seem embarrassed at all about drying my scrawny, naked self.

"Your fever isn't all that broke, eh Jules?" He grinned at me.

I was hugging myself and shivered. "Huh?"

He toweled me efficiently. "... but did you have to do it in front of mother?" Rodney laughed then.

"Oh crud, you aren't going to tell anyone, are you? I haven't wet my bed since I was a toddler."

He suddenly laughed harder. "You thought it was pee?"

"Of course, I..." I shut up.

Rodney smiled big and looked at me in a way I hadn't seen before. "Welcome to the club."

"Oh GOD, mother saw THAT?" My jaw hung low.

"I'm not sure. When she told me to haul your ass into the bathtub, she might not have seen the stain down your pajama bottoms. She probably couldn't tell cum stains from sweat. You might get away clean... at least with her." Big brother got way too serious then.

"You. You're the one who took them off." I had a new reason to tremble.

"You owe me big time, brother. I even washed your dick." He just laughed and laughed, until a blanket hit him in the back.

"I didn't hear that!" Mother shouted.

For the remainder of my recuperation there was no more talk about dicks or cum, but I couldn't keep them out of my mind. My hallucinations had ended, but the image of fire shooting out of my dick haunted me like an owl in a tree. I wanted to see if I came the next time I jacked off. Unfortunately, I had to wait. With my mother swirling about, checking my health, I didn't feel safe enough to try out my new ability. She'd even check on me in the middle of the night.

By the forth day, I was feeling pretty horny. I didn't feel sick at all. I wandered about the house keeping my erections hidden as best I could and annoying everyone with a lot of, "Oh pity my sick self - let me watch what I want to watch on TV." or "Do we have to have lima beans? I think they make me feel worse." Everyone, except my brother seem extra agitated. Mom increased her knocks at my door during the night, and my two sisters literally bounced off the walls.

"I think it was Shell who started it, but maybe it was Lynn. They managed to plant footprints as high as the key hooks in the entrance way. Mom heard the pounding and stopped their little contest straight away. She sent them outside. Rodney shook his head when he told me about it. "She actually yelled at them. Looks like you aren't the only one growing up."

"Mom must not be happy about that." I felt sorry for her. All her kids were starting to lose their adoration for her, except for me. Little Shelley was nine, and Lynn was eleven. "Their jumping against the walls woke me up. I heard mother yell, 'What the fuck are you doing?'" None of us had ever heard her say, fuck.

Big brother looked at me. "You should get some sun." He left me sitting on the couch. The TV was on 'mute'. I watched it for a little longer. I heard the front door let Rodney out. Mother walked into the living room a little while after he left. She looked a fright.

In my wild imaginations during my fever, my mind had exaggerated her appearance. Mom was good looking, but no model. She was a little chubby and slightly taller than me. Her hair was undone, and bags held her eyes for ransom. Something about her eyes struck me. They seemed to be holding something back. Something eerie. My dick hardened.

"Honey, mommy's going to her room for a little while. Don't disturb your mommy for a little while, okay?"

"Uh sure." I blinked. She looked like she needed a nap really bad. She didn't repeat herself very often. Little while.

As I watched my mom, I actually gave a damn about the clothes she was wearing. They were a jumble of styles, poorly matched. She had on a white pair of slacks and wore a cream yellow sweater over a pink blouse. Dust and grime spotted them somewhat. Down her back, her dark hair hung in ratty disarray. She disappeared up the stairs.

My cock reminded me about the changes that were happening in my body. It reminded me that I had the house to myself for a 'little while'. I hopped off the couch and climbed quickly to my room. I shed my clothes in record time. I swear my cock grew fingers and slipped out of my briefs by itself. My fingers were wrapped tightly about my seven inch shaft well before my body fell back on my bed.

"Ohh, I wish I could fuck somebody!" I whispered. My hand pulled firmly but slowly. I like slow fucks. They really get me high. I don't start beating it hard until I'm just about ready to shoot. Then it's like rockets. God, how I love to get off! Just because I didn't cum before, didn't mean I didn't climax when I was younger. Why else would I have done it?

I thought of my mother. She was so, oh I don't know. I didn't think about fucking her. I spit into my hand and really gave my cock a good, slippery massage. I thought about my mother walking away from me, her round ass swaying. I imagined the yellow sweater. I imagined her taking off her pink blouse, right through her sweater as if by magic. I imagined her walking as she pulled it right off in front of me. I imagined her turning around at the hallway and raising her arms above her. Her tits covered by soft yellow wool. Dark nipples hinted beneath it.

"Ohhhhhh!" This wasn't going to take very long. My cock pulsed with inspiration. It had been severely neglected. Usually, I beat off once or twice a day. I looked at my fine cock. I gazed down my hairless chest and my other hand toyed with my testicles. I've got a good body, I tell myself. My balls rumbled. I imagined sticking my cock into my mother's mouth and forcing her to suck it.

"Suck it now!" I whispered intensely.

I got a new feeling then, one that I've never felt since. My balls hurt briefly as if they had to burst through some male hymen to blast their load through my dick and shoot it high into the air. I showered my stomach and hips and thighs and bed cover with thick, white cum.

"AAAAHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!! OOoooohhhhhh!" I jacked my cock like there was no tomorrow. My crotch muscles contracted. My brain flew with release. I imagined my mother swallowing my cum, every drop. Then I stopped thinking about her, in my fantasy. I heard her yell from her bedroom. I couldn't make out the words, but I did understand what she was saying. It was the same thing I had just yelled.