A Daughter's Journey of Healing and Reconciliation

She said "I want to tell you about the time I got lost. I want you to know that when you found me that was the second time that you scared me. The first time was when I was four." She just looked at me for a few seconds then continued. "I was four and grandpa, Uncle Mike and Aunt Debbie brought me, mom and my two brothers to your house. They were talking to you and you looked as sad as I felt so I got into your lap. I was sitting there and you pulled me tight to your chest and held me. After Uncle Mike stopped talking you screened and almost knocked me on the floor. I didn't know why then and didn't for awhile till Aunt Debbie took me to church one Sunday and to the graves. After I asked who they were and she told me."

I saw a tear stat to roll down her cheek so I whipped it away.

She said "after that every Sunday we would go to church and Aunt Debbie would tell me stories about Amy, you and Emily. Afterwards we would both cry, but I also feel better."

I whipped away a few more tears both hers and mine.

She said "It was the next year that I asked where you were and she told me about what happen. I felt so bad and when I heard grandpa and Uncle Mike talking about you and I heard them say that no one could have made it through the winter. I cried every Sunday at the graves till I found the wild flowers".

Paula was openly crying now and for some reason I pulled her to me. She laid there with her head on my chest crying for a while as I rubbed her back.

Once she stopped crying she continued. "I was so happy that you were alive. I told everyone you were alive but grandpa told me that anyone could have put them there. I knew you were."

She stopped talking and just laid there in my arms. She looked and said "when the first snow came I made Aunt Debbie take me to the graves because I was sure that we would see your foot prints. When they weren't there Aunt Debbie said that you may not have been able to get down or that you went south."

What she told me next had me crying and her holding me. She said "we didn't have any flowers to put on the graves so every Sunday I would lay down on the graves and make snow angles for you".

Once I stopped crying I kissed her forehead and thanked her.

She said "I waited all winter and once it started to warm up I sat down with Aunt Debbie and told her that we need to let you know it was time to come home. So she wrote the note to you and I left it at the graves. It was two weeks before you took it and I waited all summer for you to come home". She put her head back down on my chest then continued. "I cry so hard the day we found your note". Then she started crying again.

When she stopped she looked back up at me and said "every year I waited for you to come and stay but every year you would leave so when the Girl Scout said we were going for a hike up in the hill I planned to fine you and if you wouldn't come home I was going to stay with you". Then she giggled and said "it didn't work out like I planned".

She giggled again saying "you know you look nothing like the picture I have of you".

We both started laughing. After we stopped laughing she sat up and said let's eat. She pulled out some fried chicken that smelt wonderful. My mouth was watering just thinking about it. I couldn't remember when the last time I had any and I told her so.

She said that she got up early this morning to make this for us and that she had been planning it all winter long.

It was the best meal I had ate since the accident, fried chicken, potato salad, fresh homemade rolls and ice tea.

All through the meal I keep telling her how good it was. When she said wait for dinner I guess she saw the worried look.

She laughed and said "Aunt Debbie is making it and I will meet her at

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THE END