Oral sex is easy if you're trying to kill time before the main event, like politely sitting through an opening act as you prep for the headliner. But why stick with average foreplay when you can turn an appetizer into an entree? (OK, we'll cool it with the metaphors.)
The point is, oral sex matters—and it matters to her that it's more than mediocre. According to research, 30 to 50 percent of women say they can't reach an orgasm through intercourse alone. So you've got some work to do, buddy.
Luckily, we're here to help—and so is Shanna Katz, M.Ed., a board-certified sexologist. Consider this your play-by-play on what she really craves when you’re making your way down south—and how to satisfy her desire every time.
Take Your Time
When it comes to cunnilingus, the following words should never leave your mouth: How long should I do it for? “Women tend to feel more insecure about having oral sex performed on them,” says Katz. So your main goal should be to take her off the clock. Explore each and every inch of her vulva and continually let her know how much you enjoy her body, Katz explains. Wait for her to pull you up.
Don’t Treat Her Clitoris Like a Bullseye
Just as the body needs to be warmed up for sex, the clitoris needs to be warmed up before it's stimulated, says Katz. So don't hit that area as soon as she drops her pants. Instead, tease her. Think of the vulva as a clock (with her clitoris being noon), and make your way around the entire clock, suggests Katz. Many women are especially sensitive between the areas of 2 and 3 o’clock, so that’s a good place to start, she says. And don’t forget to use your fingers. By incorporating both tongue and manual stimulation, you'll give her a variety of different sensations.
Vary Your Techniques
Ready to take her on a wild ride? Master these three positions from Katz’s new book, Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind. (And for many more moves that'll shake up your sex life, chck out the 45 Best Sex Positions Every Couple Should Try.)
The Easy Chair
Lie on your back, keep your feet flat on the bed with your knees bent, and position a pillow underneath your neck and head for support. Have her lay on top of you (with her back touching your stomach), move her feet by your head, and rest her head on your bent knees.
Benefits: With your mouth right near her vulva, you'll have easy access to her most sensitive parts—and your hands will be free to do what they please.
Orgasmic Earmuffs
Both of you should lay on your sides, facing opposite directions. Have her support herself on a bent arm, then position yourself between her outstretched legs. As you rest your head on her thigh that’s closest to the bed, place her upper thigh over the top of your head, so both of your ears are covered by her legs.
Benefits: This position also gives you access to the entire vulva, and it's mighty comfortable, which means it's easy to maintain for long periods of time.
Forward Fold
As your partner stands in front of you, bend her over with her legs shoulder-width apart and have her place her hands around her ankles. Kneel behind her (add a pillow under your knees if needed) and help keep her stable by placing your hands on her hips.
Benefits: It’s a very easy position for you to hold, and it allows you to manually stimulate her clitoris.
