Stewardess Cindy: A Bizarre and Hilarious Take on Flight Safety Instructions

Stewardess Cindy Ch 5 – Humour & Satire

Original story by Frankel. Something went very wrong last submission attempt, as the story file came up as empty. Hopefully, it'll work this time.

Cindy stood in the aisle waiting to do the new safety instructions as the plane prepared to take off. The new instructions were very complicated and she was worried that she would not remember them all. The captain had only just shown them to her in his hotel room before the flight. To tell the truth her jaw ached a little from them and she wasn’t sure how she would be able to do it in a real emergency.

“Gentlemen,” said Cindy. This flight was a charter flight for a major football team, so Cindy was the only woman in first class. “May I have your attention, please? I will now demonstrate the emergency procedures as we prepare to take off.”

Cindy noticed that most of the players were not paying attention. She realised that they probably thought they had seen this done so many times before. ”These are new emergency procedures,” she said. “So please pay careful attention.”

Cindy was pleased the players looked towards her now as she removed her shirt. She took her breasts in both hands and shook them up and down just as the captain had instructed. “Recent studies have shown that in an emergency many people will struggle to find an exit. To combat this, this airline has introduced a follow the bouncing ball procedure. If we make an emergency landing, please follow my bouncing breasts, which will lead you to an exit.”

Cindy could see what a clever policy this was. Normally no-one paid attention, but now every eye on the plane was on her bouncing breasts. “Thank goodness they are so big,” she thought. Even people up in coach were watching her. Cindy suddenly realised the stewardess in coach was giving the old set of instructions. She thought about warning her, but realised there was no time.

“If at any stage we experience sudden depressur…depress,” Cindy struggled with this word. “If you feel a lack of air during the flight a mask will drop down from above. Place the mask tightly around your face and breathe normally. If you feel an increase in pressure to your testicles please alert me as this is due to the change in air pressure. I am trained in sucking out the excess liquid.”

All the players hands went up. Fortunately the captain had warned her about this. It was normal for men to believe they had these symptoms when told of them. It was only in flight that there was any danger. “Any feeling of pressure in your testicles at this point is normal,” she said. “Let me know if they continue in flight after the fasten seat belt sign goes off.”

Cindy was getting tired from bouncing her breasts. She wondered how long she had to do it for. Then she had an idea. She turned to the men on either side of her. “Excuse me,” she said. “Would you please shake my breasts for me, I am getting a little tired.”

The men reached up and took her breasts in their hands. She didn’t think they were doing it quite right. She had been bouncing them and they were more massaging them. Still, it seemed to work just as well as all eyes were still on them. “I will now demonstrate the correct position to be in during an emergency landing.”

This bit would be the trickiest, especially with the men taking over the breast bouncing. “Please come with me,” she said. The men holding her breasts got out of their seats and walked with Cindy to the front row, still massaging her breasts in their hands. Cindy knelt down in the front row before the man seated in seat A2. Cindy realised that only the people in the front row could see her now. She stood back up and asked all the passengers in first class to come down the front to see.

”Isn’t the plane about to take off?” a passenger asked.

“Not until I am finished,” she said. “The captain knows he can’t take off until I contact him. He knows these new instructions take a little longer.”

Cindy knelt back down and pushed the man in seat A2’s legs apart. She reached up and unzipped his pants and carefully took out his soft penis just as the captain had shown her. “As is widely known,” said Cindy. “The most venerable part of a man are his private parts. In an emergency landing they need the most protection. I will now demonstrate the new brace position.”

Cindy pushed the man gently back in his chair. She bent down and took the man’s penis in her mouth, demonstrating to the men the safest, warmest place for the penis on landing. “This,” mumbled Cindy, “is the correct position for an emergency landing.”

It sure was hard to talk though. The man took Cindy’s head in his hands and began to move it up and down. “Oh, no,” thought Cindy. “He can’t find a comfortable position. This is just like what happened to the captain. Maybe if I apply more pressure with my lips.”

Cindy sucked her lips around the man’s penis, but this only seemed to add to his discomfort. He moaned and gripped her tighter and became more urgent as he forced her head up and down. She relaxed her lips but this caused him to call out, “Oh, suck it bitch!” He forced her head down and seemed to have found a good place for it with the head resting in the back of her throat. The only problem was that she couldn’t breathe.

“Hopefully a crash wouldn’t take long,” thought Cindy. Just when she thought she would pass out, he let her head up a bit so she could get air in through her nose. “What a considerate man,” thought Cindy. “Although it is probably safer if he just holds it still.”

But the man just couldn’t seem to find a comfortable place for his penis in her mouth. First it was in, then out, then in, then out. After a while he took it out all together and began rubbing it all over face and eyes. “You love it, don’t you bitch?” he said. Cindy didn’t know what he meant, but didn’t get a chance to ask as he remembered the correct brace position and put his cock back in her mouth. Still he couldn’t settle though, and forced her head up and down over and over again.

The men making her breasts bounce seemed to get tired and, instead of using their hands, they now moved below her and used their mouths. Their sucking action on her nipple caused them to move a little but not really bounce. “Oh, Christ, that feels good!” said the man in A2. “Suck it deep.”

"At least it feels good,” thought Cindy. “Even if he won’t hold still!”

Suddenly he did hold still. He finally seemed to get it as he tensed up, braced her head down and pushed his penis deep down her throat. He convulsed and cried out, “Swallow it bitch!”, and then the liquid spurted into her throat. There seemed no end of it and for a moment she thought she might drown. She swallowed all she could but some leaked out and ran down her chin. The man released her and she sat up gasping for breath.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “The same thing happened to the captain when we rehearsed. It is caused by nerves and is quite normal.” She licked the rest of the liquid from her face. “Any questions?” she said.

“I do,” said the passenger in A1. “Where do the rest of us put our penises?”

Cindy realised the man was right. She couldn’t protect all 30 passengers’ penises at once. “I don’t know,” she admitted. She wondered if it was time to tell the men to stop sucking on her breasts.

“You know,” said the man in A1. “I think getting rid of the fluid caused nerves is the most important thing. Perhaps if you did that just in case of an emergency landing we would all be protected.”

"Hmmm,” said Cindy. She slowly stood up, the men at her breasts rising with her. “Sounds like a good idea. I better run it past the captain though.”

Cindy walked slowly to the cockpit door. She gently prized the men’s mouths from her breasts. “Thank you,” she said. “That will do. I have to see the captain now.” The men looked a little disappointed as they walked away.

“Such helpful volunteers,” she thought as she knocked on the cockpit door.

The co-pilot opened it. “Got her top off already,” he thought. He saw a drop of cum on her face she had missed. “Already,” he thought. “We haven’t even taken off yet.”

"How can I help?” he asked. “I did the new brace position the captain showed me,” she said. “But I can only put one penis in my mouth at a time. The passengers thought maybe if I did the position with each of them during the flight it might get rid of that nervous liquid and make them safe.”

The co-pilot looked back at the captain and smiled. “So that’s what you were showing her in your room. The new brace position.”

"That’s right,” said the captain. “Sounds like a good idea,” the captain said to Cindy. “Perhaps you better come up here and do it with us as well.”

"You’re right,” said Cindy. “After all you are the captain. We need you to fly the plane if it crashes.”

"Good girl,” said the captain. “We are almost set to take off. You better wait until we are in the air before relieving the other passengers of their nervous fluid.”

"Yes, sir,” said Cindy. She moved back into the cabin. “Please resume your seats,” she said. “We are to take off soon so I will give you all a choice. Either I can serve drinks or finish off the brace position demonstration with you all separately. Who would prefer drinks?” she asked. No-one raised their hands. “Brace position?” Everyone raised their hands. “OK,” said Cindy.

“Miss,” said a passenger, leaving his hand up. “I have a spare seat beside me. Would it be OK if you sat beside me during take-off? I am a nervous flyer.”

"Sure,” said Cindy. She sat next to the passenger. “What can I do to help you relax?”

"Well,” he said. “They say nothing is as re-assuring as a breast. Takes you back to childhood and all.”

"How so?”

"You know sucking your mother’s tit.”

"But I’m not your mother.”

"No, but you have great tits.”

The plane took off down the runway. The man leant forward and began to suck on Cindy’s breasts. He sucked hard on her nipple and massaged her other breast with his hands. The plane left the ground and the passenger reached down and unzipped his pants as he continued to suck.

“Is that better?” asked Cindy.

“Almost,” he said. “But I am still scared. I think I will be only truly comforted in the womb.”

"But you would never fit in mine,” said Cindy.

“Perhaps if just part of me was in there,” he said.

“But how?” asked Cindy.

“I have an idea,” said the man. “Take off your panties.”

"I’m not wearing any.”

"Excellent,” smiled the man. “Just sit across my lap then.” Cindy undid her seatbelt and sat astride the man. She saw at once how clever he was. His penis was a perfect fit for her. That would easily go inside into her womb. It would be just like going back to the womb for part of him. She let it go inside her. Strangely the man made her bounce up and down on his penis as he thrust in and out if her pussy. It felt nice inside her and she wondered at this as she had heard that childbirth was painful. Going back to the womb seemed just the opposite.

The man sucked her breasts as they bounced in front of his face. The seat belt side went off and the man pushed her off him, turned her around and made her bend over as he re-entered her pussy. He thrust in and out of her. Another man came over and took out his penis and pushed it into her face. “It’s not the right brace position,” she tried to say but the man wouldn’t listen and he pushed his penis into her mouth. She was skewered between the two thrusting penises. She felt a wave of pleasure roll over her as the men pounded her harder and harder from each end. All the men were cheering her on. It was nice to be appreciated for her work.

She heard both men groan and felt the nervous liquid spurt in to her mouth and pussy. She saw at once how good it was to get rid of the nervous liquid as both men relaxed at once and returned to their seats. She swallowed the liquid and said: “Who’s next?”

A sea of hands went up. “I have an idea,” said a man in row C. “Perhaps you could help us all two at a time like you did those two. One in front and one behind.”

Just then the captain came over the intercom. ”Would stewardess Cindy make her way to the cockpit, please?” The men groaned, but Cindy said she had to go. It might be important.

“I’ll be right back,” she said. Cindy bounced her way to the cockpit door and knocked. The co-pilot let her in.

“I have a terrible case of nerves,” said the captain.

”So do I,” said the co-pilot.

“I know just the thing,” said Cindy. “I just discovered a way of relieving nerves two at a time.”

She moved into the space between the pilots’ seats. She bent down and put her head in the pilot’s lap, presenting her bottom to the co-pilot. The captain pulled his penis out and pushed her head down over it. She sucked her lips around it hoping to draw the nervous liquid out quickly.

“It would be dangerous to have a nervous pilot,” she thought. The co-pilot meanwhile positioned his penis behind her. She thought he would put it in her pussy, but he pushed the cheeks of her bottom apart and forced it into her arse. This didn’t feel good at all. In fact it hurt quite a lot. She wanted to tell him he had put it in the wrong hole, but the captain had a tight grip on her head and she couldn’t get his penis out of her mouth. They both must have been very nervous as they were quite frantic in the way they pushed their penises inside of her. She felt the co-pilots cock thrust deeper and deeper into her bottom as the penis in her mouth grew longer and harder.

“What a nervous man the pilot is,” she thought. “I just got his nervous fluid out three times last night and now he has even more!” The co-pilot gripped her hips and finally managed to get his entire penis inside her. He began to increase the speed of his thrusts as her bottom gripped tightly around his penis. Both men moaned loudly, and suddenly the nervous liquid erupted inside of her. She drank down the captain’s liquid, then turned and drained what was left from the co-pilot. She made sure she got it all this time – she didn’t want to have to come back.

Cindy looked at the dials in front of her. She liked the way one of them was like a clock that had hands spinning round faster and faster. She read the numbers under the letters ALT. It was at 5000 and going down faster and faster.

“What happens when that number gets to zero?” asked Cindy.

As the pilot zipped up, he looked to where Cindy pointed.

“Shit!!!” he screamed, pulling up at the controls. “Brace for impact!!”