Heartbreak and Reconnection: A Year Apart from the Girl You Never Stopped Loving

“What?” I yelled suddenly. My heart felt like it fell into my stomach when I heard Zoe speak. Everyone was silent, “What do you mean you’re leaving?” I asked. Zoe had her eyes on the ground with her arms cradled, I knew she was upset. “Perhaps it’s best if you and Zoe have some privacy” my mother suggested. Kylie let go of my hand and gave a nod of approval. In shock, I walked inside with Zoe still unable to look me in the eye. We sat in my living room side by side, I didn’t know where to begin. I repeated my question and Zoe answered, “My parents are moving a franchise over to Toronto, we’ll be staying there for a year to make sure the business spreads” she replied. My heart sank as I suddenly realized Zoe could be out of my life for real this time. I continued to question, “When do you leave?” I asked. “You have me for another week and then we fly out” she said trying to hold back tears. I didn’t know what to say, the thought of being without Zoe made me feel weak inside. I just wanted this to be some kind of cruel joke. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I shrieked. “I just wanted to spend time with you as if nothing was wrong. I’m sorry for the way I’ve been for the last few weeks and the stuff I’ve done. I really do love you, I was selfish to try and take you from Kylie”. I uncontrollably let out a sob and tears flushed through my cheeks. I always knew Zoe cared about me, as difficult as she had been for the last few weeks I enjoyed her company. “I missed my chance with you, I have to live with that” she said trying not to break down. “I guess now that I’m gone for a year I pretty much have no chance to fix what I did”. I hugged Zoe on her side as tears flowed from her face onto her dress. She looked at me with watery eyes and smiled, “Can you just do one thing for me?” she asked. I nodded, I had a good idea of what she wanted from me. “Just kiss me, it doesn’t have to be anything special. I just want to feel the love I missed out on for a second”. Without much hesitation I placed my hand on her chin and pulled my head towards her. I gave her a closed mouth kiss on the lips and held it for about 5 seconds. When I released Zoe was smiling, “Thank you” she said.

My life was turned upside down. I couldn’t stomach the thought of Zoe being so far away from me for so long. Zoe had always been so close to home, I always took for granted that she would always be here. But I knew now that I would find it hard to live without Zoe. She was always there, not in body but in presence. I always felt like Zoe would be there for me no matter what. Even with my stable relationship with Kylie I felt unease with Zoe’s departure. My mind drifted off into the future, I questioned if Zoe and I would keep in touch. We had never been apart since we first met, I didn’t think I could cope. Kylie sat with me after the party and held me. She too seemed sad that Zoe would be leaving soon. She stroked my hair and kissed me on the forehead, I didn’t hide my emotions as I sobbed. The emotional impact this was having on me was immense, my entire body felt ill. Kylie called her parents and told me to get some rest when she left. I tried, but my eyes wouldn’t shut. I was more awake than I’d ever been in my life. I wanted to spend every hour until Zoe left just hanging out with her. I wanted to catch up on lost time, but I controlled myself and rested. The canvas Zoe had made for me was opposite my bed. I stared at it for about half an hour and began to feel tired. Seeing her and myself smiling, hugging and laughing made me smile. I fell asleep within minutes with Zoe peacefully in my mind.

The following Monday I wasted no time trying to be around Zoe as much as possible. She seemed fairly cheerful during the week but as she had already told me she was trying to act as normal as possible. Zoe’s other friends soon found out what was happening and stole some of her time from me. To compensate for this I caught up with her after school most days, we saw a few movies together to make up for never doing so. I felt like I was dating Zoe in the last week, we laughed together, ate together and spoke like we were a couple. It was nice to feel the replication of what our relationship might have been like. Kylie didn’t mind me spending so much time with Zoe, she was supportive and told me I needed to make things count while they lasted. But if Kylie had of seen the way we were together I doubt she would have kept that position. Friday was Zoe’s last day, she seemed down compared to her usual self. I felt this was the last time I would see her until she got back, but she assured otherwise. “Can you come to the airport with me tomorrow?” she asked. I was thrilled at the invitation, wasting no time I responded. “I’d be glad to” I said cheerfully as I hugged her. I felt better this week about showing physical affection to Zoe, she hadn’t made a single move on me. I suspected she would jump at me any moment, but she never did. There were moments I felt like I would be the one to make a move. I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to pull her hips towards me and caress her body. But I was through with the drama, we spent the last week with each other as the friends we once were. As I had feared, the day came when I found myself driving Zoe to the airport to see her go. Kylie has said goodbye the night before so she decided not to come. Her parents drove in another car while me and Zoe entertained each other in the car. We reminisced on our memories with one another and laughed hysterically at some of the dumb things we had done. Neither of us brought up our intimate past, but I had a feeling it was all we were both thinking about. Waiting for her plane was the most difficult part of the day. I couldn’t go with her to the international terminal so I waited with her holding her hand before she went in. It was almost time to go as we both held each other tightly trying not to cry. “I’ll write to you, I promise” she cried. I smiled and raised my hand to the back of her head and stroked her hair softly. Zoe stood up and walked over to the terminal with her head hanging low. As we arrived at the gate she turned to me and place her arms around my waist. I felt her kiss my chest before pulling away and kissing me on the cheek. I sobbed uncontrollably while she looked me in the eyes. “Thank you for everything this week” she said softly. I was unable to speak, she turned and headed to the gate. In a sudden outburst I softly spoke to her as she moved away, “I love you Zoe” I said. Zoe turned her head towards me and smiled with tears pouring down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and whispered to me, “I know”. She disappeared through the gate and I watched her slender figure vanish. Her black hair swayed side to side almost waving goodbye to me. Unable to comprehend her departure, I looked out until I saw what I thought was Zoe’s plane leaving. It lined up on the runway while I watched. Before I knew it the plane was flying thousands of miles away from me. It occurred to me then, she was gone.

I took Zoe’s departure badly for the first few weeks. I kept feeling like she would turn up one day at school and surprise me telling me it was all a joke. But she was long gone, she posted pictures of Toronto. We did video chat, but it was never the same as being around Zoe in person. I didn’t always have time to talk either, while we spoke a few times a week at first within months I spoke to Zoe less and less. Video calls became a rarity, but I never once stopped missing Zoe. This was confirmed for me one night when I slept at Kylie’s house. I was dozing off and before I knew it I felt myself in a dream where Zoe and I were together. It was like history was rewritten, she said yes when I asked her out and we were together happily. Kylie didn’t exist in my dream, but this didn’t occur to me. I was relished in the fantasy of a life with Zoe, we kissed and made love like I had fantasized. My body was weak at her soft touch. I felt that my dream was becoming reality as my body tingled in pleasure. This entire dream felt like an intoxication of ecstasy. I soon realized my dream was no closer to reality as my fantasies. I woke trying to move my body in awakening, but there was something holding me down. I opened my eyes and tried to peer into the darkness. At first I saw nothing but peering down at my waist I saw that someone was on top of me. My eyes adjusted and I saw someone was having sex with me in my sleep. My first thoughts jumped to Zoe having awoken from my dream, but as I looked carefully I saw Kylie’s red hair flowing as she rocked back and forth on top of me. She was facing away from me while I rested on my back. Kylie noticed I had awoken and turned her head to me. She smiled lustfully at me “Sorry babe” she said panting, “You were moaning in your sleep”. She paused and released a playful shriek of pleasure as she sat back down pushing me inside her. “I saw your hard on and I got a little horny” she remarked in a cute voice. I placed my hands on her hips and pulled her deeper inside of me. She let out a long moan and moved my hands along her thighs. “Don’t stop!” groaned. By now I could see her much better, Kylie had a nice crease below her ass which revealed all the action. I could see myself disappear inside of her as I simultaneously jolted from pleasure. She rotated between sensual movements and bucking on top of me in an attempt to spice up the scenario. Her warmth consumed me, “Fuck me harder!” I yelled as she went faster. Kylie was playfully teasing me as she slowed her pace. She knew exactly when my climax was approaching but prolonged my ejaculation for as long as she could. Kylie was soaking wet, she had been fucking me in my sleep for some time before I woke. I realized that during my sex dream about Zoe I was most likely inside Kylie the entire time. In the darkness I tried to imagine Zoe on top of me bucking away however I was reminded by Kylie’s bright red hair that this was not the case. There was almost no friction as Kylie pounded her hips on top of me. The experience became too much for me as I started to groan loudly. Kylie turned her head to see me clenching the sheets in ecstasy. She grinned down at me with her hair messily covering her eyes and lowered her body. Her chest was almost parallel with eh bed as she began pounding on top of my harder and harder.

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THE END