Love, Small Towns, and Second Chances

Hello everybody, I’ve got a surprise for you this time! I’m going to continue the same story line and characters etc., but I’ve decided to switch things up a little…enjoy!

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Mom walked into the kitchen with her white apron on. Her creamy blonde hair was up in a messy ponytail and her blue eyes sparkled. I have my mom’s eyes. I’m proud of it too. Dad is always saying he thinks her eyes are gorgeous. But my hair is a darker golden than hers and it’s below my shoulders, where as hers barely meets her shoulders.
“Lillian, would you mind helping me with the dishes?” she asks me. I shrug my shoulders and follow her to the sink. Plates fill both corners of the sink and more dishes and utensils crowd the top of the gray granite counter.
“Oh boy,” I mumble and set to work, heating the water up and soaping up the sponge. As I scrub the plates, I look out the window into our backyard. The above ground swimming pool sits silent and vacant. The water is completely still. As I look at it, images of the boy next door flood my mind. Josh was the first person to talk to me when we moved here…and he’s drop-dead gorgeous, but I’d never admit it to anyone. We hit it off pretty quickly, I just couldn’t help myself. But what surprises me is the eagerness I feel when I’m around him. We’ve had sex twice already, both times were great, and I can’t control my need to be with him. When he isn’t around, I could care less, though.
Friday night I had been scared to death though. We’d gone to a movie which I found very romantic and I’m not sure what he’s up to, and then we found a little back road and parked the car and…we had sex. It was the best too because my parents didn’t almost catch us, but a drunk man pulled up and we could have gotten hurt. Luckily Josh knocked him out and took off before he could recover. I think Josh felt so bad, but it wasn’t his fall. I should have been more careful too.
“Lillian, there’s a girl here to see you!” Dad calls from the living room. I finish the last plate and turn the water off. When I reach the door I am stunned to see who’s standing outside.
“Sasha!” I squeal and leap into my best friend’s arms. We embrace each other warmly, my best friend since I was ten is here!
“Lillian, totes how are you?” she giggles and I can’t help laughing at the way she talks.
“Haha, great! You?” I ask.
“OMG, I have so much to tell you. Wanna go for a ride?” she blurts out, lifting up the keys to her little sports car.
“Yes, let’s go!” I jump out the door and run down the sidewalk with Sasha. Her black hair is straightened and down to the middle of her back.
“Better behave, Sasha!” Dad calls from the house. He trusts me, it’s Sasha he knows gets into trouble. I flash her a knowing look and we smile. For whatever reason, before I climb into the car, I look across the street. My heart leaps when I realize Josh is sitting on the porch watching me. He smiles and I can’t help but smile back. Then quickly I claim in so Sasha won’t notice the hesitation. She did.
“So, who’s the babe eyeing you up?” she asks deviously as she shifts into drive. An embarrassed smile spreads across my lips.
“Oh, just a boy,” but I’m not convincing.
“So you stare at the sexiest city-slicker in town and he’s staring back and he’s ‘just a boy’?” she knows me too well.
“Okay, so he’s Josh. We’re just friends.”
“Did you fuck him?” she blurts, catching me totally off guard.
“What?! Well, when you put it like that it sounds so terrible!” I laugh and she snickers.
“Well it is when your own father thinks you’re still a virgin. He sure was checking you out, girlfriend.” I roll my eyes but I know she’s right. I’ve never been slutty, or slept around with guys. The first time was an accident. I let my guard down and he was a total jerk. I didn’t know what was happening and I guess I could say he raped me. I wouldn’t have knowingly chosen to sleep with him. He tricked me into it and humiliated me at school afterward. I’ve been used a lot. Two other boyfriends got close enough for me to trust them and they fucked me and left. I’ve always been so gullible and naïve and I’ve been taken advantage of for that. Why do I think Josh is any different? And it’s true that both my parents still believe I’m the good-girl virgin of the town. The light in a dark world, the innocent role model. But they don’t really know what goes on and sometimes I’m depress myself feeling so guilty. But then I get over it. Sasha, however, is the bad influence. She did drugs when she was 14, although she’s straightened out…I hope. She always has some sort of color in her hair, today it’s blue streaks. And she’s slept with every boyfriend since she was 13. I think it’s partially because of her abusive father. He’s an alcoholic who goes all out with it and countless times he’s made Sasha watch while he forces her mother to give him blowjobs and he’s even forced her mother to fuck when he was drunk. Needless to say, Sasha’s mom ran away and now he brings home slutty girlfriends.
“So, what do you wanna talk about?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“I want you to meet my new boyfriend,” she explains, a devilish grin appearing.
“No friends right?” I ask. Sasha always makes sure her boyfriends bring a friend and I’m always pissed off. “Right?” I demand.
“Uh, maybe a friend,” she says innocently. I drop my head into my hand and stare out the window. This ought to be fun.



When we arrived, it was obvious this meant a lot of trouble. Sasha parked us at a park with picnic tables by a river. And by the picnic tables, two black guys. Damn it, Sasha. I knew you had something set up! Sasha led me over to them. I have to admit, both of them were pretty hot. But I was nervous too. All I’d ever known of black guys was that they were always more commonly the ones who raped, stole, and…generally criminals. I prayed I was wrong.
“Hey, Trey. This is my bestie, Lily,” Sasha introduced. I smiled, hoping my nerves didn’t show.
“Nice to meet you, Lily,” Trey said and he put his hand on the other guy’s shoulder. “This is Taurus. He thought he’d come along with me today.” Taurus smiled at me and it wasn’t a warm smile. It was a sly, seductive smile. I returned the greeting and shook his hand, but I dared not let him hold it too long. Sasha had to stand on tip toes to kiss Trey and he wrapped his hands around her waist. I shifted uncomfortably, feeling awkwardly silent but not knowing what to say.
“So, where’s the boyfriend?” Taurus broke the silence for me. I looked at him confused momentarily.
“What? Oh, uh…” maybe Josh and I had a formal date two days ago, but he technically wasn’t my boyfriend. Did I really want to open up the possibility of being single though? Especially around Taurus? I already knew his intentions, I could see it in his eyes.
“Heh, no official boyfriend right now,” I stammered, not wanting to extend any invitations, but I couldn’t claim I was with Josh because Sasha would say otherwise. Sasha met my eyes and winked. I glared at her. How dare she set me up. I didn’t have time to speak with her though because shivers ran up my spine when Taurus slickly rested his hand on my shoulder. His touch was like fire, which was what scared me. Nobody had ever set me on fire before. Then again, I’d never been with a black guy before. Maybe they were naturally exhilarating. What the hell am I doing? I can’t let him suck me into this! I shrug Taurus’s hand off and, to my dismay, he smiles. Damn it, he won’t take a hint. I’m too busy being nervous by Taurus to realize Sasha and Trey are involved in a full blown make-out session. It looks rough enough to be classified as oral sex. I sigh and look for somewhere to escape. Sasha is really trying to drag me into something. For years since she learned I lost my virginity, she’s been trying to drag me into threesomes, foursomes, group sex or whatever, and all that bullshit. I’ve stayed out because I don’t want to go down the road. I’m not addicted or crazy for sex, I just happen to be way too easily pulled into things. I walk a few feet away to a huge oak tree on the back of the river. Standing by it, I look into the stream and try to imagine what it must be like to live life going with the flow like that. I certainly didn’t want to do so if it ended up where Sasha’s at…with horny black guys.
“AHH!” I screech when arms wrap around my body. I whirl to come face to face with Taurus.
“You scared the shit out of me!” I half yell at him. He laughs at me, his arms still holding me in an embrace. Momentarily, I’m content to stand in his arms. Despite how nervous me makes me, it feels safe in his arms. Then I snap myself out of it. He’s not here to protect me, quite the opposite.
“I’m sorry, baby girl. Wouldn’t wanna scare you.” His tone of voice sets me on edge. So easily he would have seduced me if I hadn’t been on guard and forcing myself to resist.
“Yeah, well you did.” I half-heartedly try to push out of his arms, but he’s got me backed against the tree. Why does he have to be so damn hot?! Before I know what he’s doing, his mouth is closed over mine and my eyes close. Why the hell am I falling for this? I’m shocked when I realize that I’m actually enjoying the kiss. I don’t want it to end. Then I snap out of it…again.
“I’m not interested,” I say sternly. I don’t know how he does it, but I swear he’s laughing with his eyes.
“But I think you are,” he replies.
“Not with your intentions.” I can’t back out because of the damn tree.
“And what are my intentions?” he asks softly. I hate the charm in his voice. It relaxes me which I hate more.
“You want me, I can see it in your eyes,” I accuse. He laughs again.
“Baby girl, you aren’t my fantasy,” he finally says. That’s a first. Usually guys are always telling me how I’m their deepest, darkest, favorite fantasy.
“They why…” I trail off. Confused.
“You’ll do for now,” he adds. Then I think of something.
“Well, if you have better fantasies, why settle for me? Go after them,” I hope this throws him off. He knows what I’m doing.
“Cause you want me and I’m fine with that.” I stare at him in shock. How the fuck did he come up with that?
“Ah shit, where did you come up with that. If you’ll please let me go, I have somewhere to be.” I order. To my surprise, he releases me. And again to my surprise, I don’t move.
“That’s where I came up with the idea,” he chuckles. I glare at him and escort myself to the car. I slam the door shut and wait for Sasha, wherever she disappeared to with Trey. They’re probably fucking in the woods or something. I’m furious with her. Taurus wanders over and leans on the hood of the car. He’s not bothering me, just standing there…looking sexy as hell. He looks over and he knows I’m checking him out. I can’t help how damn attractive he is, but I have my mind set. Thank God he’s respecting that! Finally I give in. I roll down the car window.
“What the fuck do you want?” I ask, pissed at myself. My language doesn’t set him off.
“I thought you could use some company,” he answers. Where’s the seductive, sly tone? None? I sit silently, contemplating what to do next. He makes the move for me. Taurus opens the car door and slides in, leaning over top of me. He covers my mouth with his and I’m mortified that I’m kissing him back. I just can’t resist though and when he puts his arms around my waist, my lay mine over his shoulders and around his neck.
“I knew you couldn’t resist. It was just a matter of time,” he whispers in my ear.
“I hate you,” I whisper back. He laughs and kisses me again, rubbing my back gently. He’s not made a move to seduce me any further and I fear he’s allowing me to get comfortable. I won’t let that happen again. Finally, he pulls away and just leans on the car door, watching my eyes. My gaze is locked in his and I’m desperately trying to look away, but I can’t. I’m hooked on him and I don’t know how this happened or why I let it.
Finally, Sasha returns. She came from somewhere behind the bathrooms, pulling her shirt back down. It’s obvious what they’ve been doing. She turns the car on and gives Trey a final kiss.
“I’d like to see you again,” Taurus says to me and to my horror, Sasha tosses him a card…with MY number on it! What about Josh? But for once, he’s not the guy on my mind.



Sasha dropped me off at my house later that evening. She knew I was mad at her because she didn’t say a word on the way home. I also think he felt guilty for disappearing and leaving me alone with Taurus, which I’m sure she planned it that way beforehand.
“Well, it was good to see you!” she smiled and hugged me tight.
“You too! Please come around again sometime,” I add, returning the hug. She nods and pulls away, disappearing down the road. I stand there for some time just watching her, missing the old days when she and my friend Lindsey, and I would hang out at the local ice cream parlor and joke about every guy that looked our way. Those were great days. I felt so young and innocent then. Now I feel like a criminal in my own home. My parents don’t even know me like they think.
“Hey, good lookin’!” I whirl around to see Josh stepping up onto the sidewalk behind me.
“Hey, Josh. How you been?” I ask casually. His eyes meet mine and automatically we lean in for a kiss. But it’s brief in case Dad is watching. He’d be pissed if it was a long kiss.
“Who were you with?” he asks. Instantly I feel defensive. Did he see me with Taurus? How did he know? Alarm flashes through my mind. Then I realize something. He must have been talking about Sasha.
“Oh, that was Sasha. She’s been my best friend since I was ten,” I answer. Relief floods through me and I pray he didn’t see the swarm of emotions. Damn, I feel like I have something to hide!
“Say, you wanna go get something to eat?” he offers. Is this another date? Excitement wells up inside of me.
“I’d love to! Lemme make sure Dad knows where I’m going,” I add. Josh rolls his eyes and runs his fingers through his black hair. I think it’s so sexy when he does that and I quickly run to the house. Dad isn’t home to my surprise, but Mom’s watching TV.
“Mom, where is Dad?” I ask, trying not to sound in a hurry.
“He ran to the store to grab some things. Why?” she looks at me questioningly.
“Because I wanted to let him know that Josh and I are gonna grab a bite to eat.” I explained it as casually as I could. If Mom worried, then she’d tell Dad and he’d flip out on me when I got home.
“Okay, be careful,” she replies. I nod and run back outside. Josh is waiting on the sidewalk, shifting back and forth. I give him the thumbs up sign and he starts walking down the road slowly. I catch up and grab his arm.
“What about the car?” I ask.
“Oh, Lanie’s Restaurant is just around the block,” he smiled at me and I slip my hand in his. I don’t know how this could get any more perfect. Except, now I feel guilty and I tense up. I hope he doesn’t notice or if he does, just assume it’s because we’re alone. I feel like I’ve cheated on him even though we aren’t officially together. One thought leads to another and I start feeling like maybe Josh and I are going too fast.
“Josh, do you think we’re going to fast?” I blurt before I have time to filter what I wanna say. He looks at me surprised.
“Well, that’s why I’ve been asking you to movies and dinner and stuff. Why?” I’m scared to answer his question in case I slip up and he finds out about Taurus. But why did I feel so relaxed around Taurus and he didn’t even do any more than kiss me. Josh and I have only met three or four times and two of those times we had sex! He seems to pick up on my thoughts because he squeezes my hand.
“Lily, if I thought we were rushing into things…well, I did think we were rushing into things. That’s why I’m backing off and taking you on real dates, right?” he asks. But I still feel conflicted. I don’t get my thoughts organized in time though because we’re already at the restaurant. It’s a cute little country diner with a dark-stained wood porch and rocking chairs lined up on the wall. Josh escorts me in and pays for two people.
“It’s buffet-style. You get what you want at the counters,” he explains, pointing to the rows of stands and bars filled with fresh foods. I nod and follow him to a booth in the back corner. Then we walk up and get our plates. I admire the wide range of foods, but suddenly I don’t have such a big appetite. I get some pasta and vegetables and head back to the table. I beat Josh back because the booth is vacant. I have time to sit and think for a moment.
Why the hell do I feel like this? I only kissed Taurus and Josh and I aren’t officially together. So what if we’re on our second date? I’m sure he’s seen other girls in the time we’ve known each other. Why should it matter if I kissed somebody else? That was it and it didn’t mean anything! Then I think about the card that Sasha gave to Taurus. The card with my number on it. Damn, why did I let her do that?
“You okay?” Josh’s voice startles me and I jump.
“Yes, I’m sorry. I was just thinking,” I reply, picking up my fork and taking a bite.
“About what?” he asks me. Uh, I can’t tell you that! But I have to say something.
“I don’t know. Just stuff I guess,” I answer, hoping he doesn’t pry any further. His eyes are dark with concern and he’s just watching me as I eat.
“You know you can tell me,” he whispers, trying to comfort me. I wish he would stop. It’s making me feel worse and worse.
“Okay.” I nod, hoping he changes the subject. The rest of our meal goes like that. I’m quiet and tense, he’s talkative with concern, trying to get me to open up. But the more he reassures me, the further I shut down. I desperately try to converse with him, but our second date turned out pretty bad. We were silent as we walked home. At my door step, Josh turns me around and looks me in the eyes.
“I know you aren’t alright. For some reason, it’s something you don’t want to tell me. If it’s too personal, I respect that. If I’m doing something wrong, tell me!” he’s desperately trying to fix things and I feel so terrible.
“It’s nothing that you did, Josh, I promise! It’s just a lot for me to handle right now.” I explain. He sighs and pulls me into a hug. I hug him back, but it’s half-hearted. I feel so uncomfortable in his arms now. Why the hell am I acting like this? I’ve been beating myself up mentally all day. Josh kisses me, long and sweet. But I don’t feel any fire right now. I hope he doesn’t notice, but he walks away without his usual swagger. Damn, I’m messing things up! I just hope I haven’t ruined things for good.

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So there was an interesting twist for you! I actually enjoyed righting this part out of all the parts I’ve written so far. It was my favorite, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Stay tuned for part five!! Thank you!