Continuation of Falling In Pt 1: Guilt and Confusion Amidst Teenage Drama and Desire

This is the continuation of the previous story, “Falling In” Pt. 1
Jacky was still kneeling by my feet. The thought occurred to me that her knees, pressed as they were into the rough concrete of the dugout had to be bugging her… My dick was still hanging out of the flap of my jeans, still semi-hard… I had just gotten my first blowjob. It was great…

Then it hit me. I was in the Pacific Northwest in mid-December. It was fucking cold… I tucked myself back into my pants. The thought wildly crossed my mind that that was a piece of my body I didn’t want to get frostbitten… Standing up, I pulled Jacky to her feet and started to climb out of the dugout, I pulled her up behind me, getting my knees wet in the snow that had collected.

I held her hand as we walked back towards the school. It felt weird. I had held hands with a girl before, but it was always a girl that I had feelings for. Jacky was cool, and she gave head like a girl possessed, but I just then realized that I had no feelings or thoughts for her beyond wanting to fuck her silly, and that had a whole lot more to do with her banging ass body then it did about any feelings of closeness to her.

Honestly, she was kind of an annoying little snot. She was three years younger than me, and quite a bit more immature. She wasn’t terribly smart, where I was considered one of the school's up and comers. Captain Intelligence. I realized then that we really had very little in common. I felt vaguely guilty having used her the way that I had… didn’t she deserve more than some asshole simply using her as a cum dumpster?

The asshole had some firm traction now. I hadn’t offered her anything more than what we had. I had made no promises. She walked into the situation with open eyes, and if she was big enough that she decided that she could suck off some guy in a school dugout, well then by damn, she was big enough to decide when she was being used. I told myself all of this, and realized vaguely that it was all a serious load of bullshit. The more I tried to convince myself that everything was okay the less okay I felt about all of it.

I pulled my hand from hers. She tensed perceptibly. “You heard about the party didn’t you?” Her voice was light, and somewhere approaching shy. I had never heard that from her before. She was always a saucy, self confident girl, one who bled out this certain ‘fuck me’ vibe. It was one of the things that turned me on about her. Now her current shyness just made me feel like a fuck for shoving my cock down her throat. Obviously she had come to the conclusion early, well, a shitload earlier than most girls, that maybe a decent guy that was well known for being straight-laced was a shitload better for her overall then some asshat that was going to simply pump her and dump her.

I knew her homelife sucked. It sounded like she had a whore for a mother, and a trickle of guys ran through her house pretending to be her dad. Shit, pretty as she was most of them had finally decided that they could trade up from mom to the tight little pussy down the hall and had probably come on to her. Needless to say, I felt like even more of an ass. Hey, I’ll be honest, I’m one of those guys that takes other people’s shit onto my back and uses it to make myself feel even more like a piece of shit…

I nodded my head slowly at her. “Yeah, I heard about it.”

Her steps slowed, mine didn’t. I still remember the crisp crunch of the snow under my feet as we crossed the football practice field. Her pace quickened, and she pulled up beside me again. She didn’t take my hand. Part of me wanted her to. Look, I didn’t feel anything for her, but I am the type that likes to be the knight in shining armor… I wanted to comfort her, if I could. I knew that what she was going through was not easy for her. Maybe she made a bad choice, hell, maybe it was just a nasty lie that had popped up. One way or the other, people around this school weren’t going to let her forget about it. Life was going to get very hard for her. I didn’t love her, but she was still my friend, and I wanted to be there for her.

It was then that I decided I didn’t care if she had blown six guys at some party. She was my friend, and I was going to stand by her.

“Are you going to ask me about it now?” her voice was timid, tight with fear. My guilt surged up. Good one man, she blew you because she was smart enough to figure out what your cowardly ass didn’t want to ask her about. She was scared, and offered you something that would keep you on the line. I closed my eyes and shoved the guilt down.

I looked at her, my eyes meeting hers. Her little pixie nose was red from the cold. That nose would be unattractive on most girls, but her unusual little look only made her look exotic. Elfen. That was the word that sprang to mind when I thought of her. I took a deep breath and pushed it out. “I figure that it doesn’t matter. The past is the past. If you wanted to share it with me, you would have.”

Her eyes tightened as if I had slapped her. My comment was meant to be an easy way out for her, a way to tell her I didn’t care, but instead she took it as me saying that she had betrayed me by not telling me before I found out. She bit her lip. She did that when she was nervous, it was fucking sexy as hell, and suddenly my hormones where up again. “Look, its not true. Well not all the way true” she said to me quickly. “I was at the party, and there was this guy that I kind of liked, and I drank with him for awhile. He asked me if I wanted to go outside with him and smoke a cigarette with him and his friends. I told him okay. We went outside, and we smoked, and kind of started making out. We were standing by his car, and he just kind of opened the back door and we slid in together.”

Oh fuck! This was turning me on! What the hell was wrong with me! I should be jealous, or pissed, but instead, I was torn between seriously finding another nice quiet place to meet up with her again, and with listening to her story.

She continued, “so we’re sitting in the backseat of his car kind of making out, and he’s rubbing my chest and stuff.” Fuck! I had a serious hard on at this point…. “I was wearing this little skirt, and he put his hands down, you know, between my legs.” She was so terribly embarrassed. I felt like a serious asshole at this point, because I should be feeling empathy for her, telling her to stop her story, maybe try to save her some pain and embarrassment. I didn’t. Hey, look, I’m a gentleman, but still a man.

“I liked him, but you know, I didn’t want to fuck him, especially not right there in his car in front of his friends. I didn’t let him touch me down there, but I didn’t want to piss him off and make him stop liking me either, so I pulled his hand back up and kept kissing him. He pulls away from me and says, ‘blow me you fucking slut’.” The parallel between her story with this asshole and my own put an abrupt end to my excitement. She started walking again. Man I felt like a real asshole now, I vaguely realized that her next boyfriend down the road, if her heard about me face fucking her in a shitty dugout behind the school, he wasn’t going to have a very positive attitude about me. Hey, it’s all relative.

“I really liked him. So I blew him. Right there in his shitty little car. While his friends watched and hollered.” She bit her lip hard and a tear ran down her cheek. Great, now I really felt like an asshole for making her tell me. I reached out and took her hand again. Was I leading her on? Making her read more into the situation than was really there? Maybe fooling her into thinking that I had feelings for her that didn’t exist? Yes to all, but right now, after what she had done for me, she needed something more than some asshole who pops his load in her mouth and then tells her to fuck off.

“When I was done, we went back into the house. As soon as we got inside I went to go grab us a couple of beers. When I came back, he’s telling one of his buddies that he can go next… I walked up to him and he says, ‘so, my buddy here wants you to blow him too, we don’t want to go outside, so just do it right here.’. I threw the drink in his face and stomped out. They started telling people i did them all. She was wrung out at

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THE END