A Teens Turbulent Journey: Trauma, Identity, and Self-Discovery in a Small Texas Town

Hey guys this is my first story and if anyone finds it offensive in any way I’m sorry. I don’t really know how my words will affect people yet so if any of this comes off as offensive to anyone of a certain sexual preference I apologize. I’m just writing a story. There is going to be a huge backstory to this before things start to heat up. Also hate to be a spoiler but there is no gay sex in this sorry to burst anyone’s bubble. However if people REALLY enjoy this story I will probably continue this one however I can’t promise I will be very fast. So without further ado…

Chapter 1
The Beginning

“He’s going away for a very long time son; you no longer have to worry” Said my mother Karrie. My father Darrell said the same as they kept telling me how sorry they were for letting him do all of those awful things to me right under their noses. I didn’t really care that they didn’t notice. No one ever really notices that serial rapists are family members, but one thing that I thought I knew was that I liked gay sex. However, I had no idea how uncertain I really was.

Now I must go back and explain who I am and what my story is. My name is Joe and at age 12 I had finished High School already and was a junior at MIT having accomplished masters in Computer Science, Biological Engineering, and soon to add Chemical Engineering to the list while having minors in Architecture, Electrical Engineering, Biology, and Women’s and Gender Studies. That last one was mainly just to get a kick out of my gay roommate Joshua, who was a senior at the time and getting ready to graduate. I really didn’t even ever need to get a post-secondary education as I was already endowed with trusts in my name. My pro basketball-playing parents had set up a fund for me when I was a child. I was basically a billionaire already. Now I know what you’re thinking, "wow what an obnoxious little shit,” but to be honest I didn’t really care about the money. I just enjoyed a challenge.

So now I assume you’re wondering where the part about me deciding I’m gay comes in. I was 12 at the time and it was during summer break. I had to go stay the summer with my crazy Uncle Tony. “Crazy” because he always seemed very odd to people; something was just off about him, but no one could figure him out.
It had been Wednesday, the first day into my junior year's summer break. I thought I was going to be bored as hell stuck with Uncle Tony like always, but this year he decided to take me out to his cabin in upstate New York and make me build some character because I was after all a scrawny, pale white, freckled, 4’11”, 95 pound, geek. His last task for me had been to clear a 10 acre plot of heavily wooded area for him. I was only halfway through when I already had blisters all over my hands from swinging the axe and shoveling the stumps out and lifting the stumps over to one corner of the plot. After he finished having me chop up all the trees for firewood, yeah you heard me right I thought he was insane at that point too believe me, he had me start digging 2 holes: both 6 to 7 feet deep, 8 feet long, and 3 feet across. That night I noticed dead patches of grass on the field around his cabin as we made our way back for supper. I got an eerie feeling, I don’t know why. After the longtime family recipe, Irish stew, was finally done we sat down to eat. Mid-way through the meal I finally worked up the courage to ask him what I had dug the holes for. He simply replied “I always knew you were too smart for your own good..."

I found out later on not only had he actually tossed me into one of the holes but had started burying me alive before the FBI had finally made it to where he was burying me. I still remember the face of the female officer who dove in to pull me out for the paramedics. Her face reminded me of an angel but I later realized that was me mostly disoriented from his beating me. Technically speaking I was dead for about 30 seconds at one point but the first time paramedic who refused to lose his first person on day one stole the paddles away from his 14 year superior after he declared me dead. He turned it to full power and blasted me and well here I am. It was a medical miracle considering I’d been dead for so long.

Needless to say the other patches of dirt were other kids and so you kind of can understand why I knew no one would ever see my uncle wearing anything but orange ever again. Turned out he made a plea bargain to confess to all of it in order to live in general population. Not a good choice by him, seeing as how a week after he got in he got raped and shanked to death by inmates for his sickening deeds. Yeah, it really is true that molesters usually don’t survive long in general population in prison.

I didn’t go back to school at MIT; my parents were making me sit out a year due to the event. Joshua, my old roommate, came by to our Boston home quite often to check up on me. One day during the rest of that summer I decided, in my terribly shaken state still due to the rape, that I was going to be gay. I told Joshua I wanted to be gay and he told me that being gay wasn't really a "choice" to be made but that he would help me learn the basic things I needed to know, starting with why my wardrobe needed a makeover. So after a few months of him teaching me all the ins and outs of fashion, I decided that dressing up to look gay was just not in my bag. Don’t get me wrong I was really good when it came to fashion sense but I just loved my nerdy style too much. I couldn't give up my big bang theory Bazinga T-shirts and yodaism jackets. Regardless Joshua and I really became good friends after all the bonding we had done. My father got a better job opportunity in a little Podunk town in Texas that was growing at a quite fast rate. The area had lots of housing construction in the making, which actually allowed both of my parents a better opportunity for work. Dad quickly leapt at the job to get farther away from the place he felt the most pain for me and my suffering.

My birthday is in August so I am 13 now. Unfortunately, my parents decided to make me go to middle school for one year then to high school to develop social skills and bond with kids close in age with me. Since my family was living in Texas at this time, football was the only thing and everything in our town. I however, at age 13 was still only about 110 pounds and 5 ‘2 so I was still a runt and this did not bode well for me socially towards guys. Being the scrawny geek I was I got shoved in trash cans and lockers constantly; Mostly from Brad, the high school football coach’s son who felt entitled to owning middle school and then later on, high school.
One day, I was walking down the hall trying to avoid Brad‘s group on my way to Spanish when they saw me and ran up and cornered me. They started beating me up and kicking the shit out of me.

“Hey I need an extra lunch. Give me your lunch money ya little fag.”

“Yeah give him your lunch money you little fag” mimicked his posy sidekick.

Not letting up, they continued to beat the shit out of me when all of a sudden I heard thundering footsteps charging towards me. That’s when two of the posy’s' heads slammed into the wall. I saw that a huge gruff man child at 6’4” had taken them by their heads and bashed them into the wall. That’s when the rest of them ran off as the man child gave a small chase just to kick the ass of a slow running Brad who yelped when he felt the smack of the man child’s boot. The man child proceeded to help me up, then simply walked off never even giving me his name or time to thank him. I never saw him again after that because I had to rush to get to class on time. Brad stopped bothering me for a while after that nearly till freshman year, but soon enough he was back to his old ways.
I must confess, I've never had any sexual feelings towards a guy. I didn't really know myself at all. I had never experienced high school in a social setting, so there was no way for me to express myself and really explore my sexuality. I believe that my outward feelings about my sexual orientation were only created for me to feel like a normal human being. However, inwardly I knew that my sexual feelings originated from my... Incident.

Through middle school I found that my self-proclaimed gayness was very helpful socially towards women and eventually so many liked me that they forced all the guys to stop picking on me. Me being the only gay kid in this little town out in the boonies of Texas wasn’t very rough on me emotionally because although I continued to claim that I was gay, I was beginning to accept that it was probably me letting the trauma of what happened to me continue to fester in my mind. Being gay led me to be very popular with all the girls at first, but soon by freshman year in high school they had all forgotten about me. I was once again an outcast and Brad was once again able to plunder my lunch money.

However, this was not particularly bad news for me. It gave me plenty of time to lock myself in at home and really get back to my grassroots love of being a geek. I was able to catch up on all the new videogames and comic books. My father, who ended up going into the hall of fame as one of the most dominant centers of all time in the NBA, disliked how much time I spent indoors, so I was forced outside every day for 2 hours after both my parents got home to play a game of 2 on one against my father with mom on my team. My mother was the first WNBA player to win four WNBA championships and four MVP awards for her dominant display of shooting ability out of the power forward position in her first six seasons before retiring only six years into her career to be with my father. She had also won 3 women’s college national championships her freshman, junior, and senior years out of Notre Dame University. My father as well had attended all four years of college at Notre Dame University before going pro. This meant both were huge proponents of finishing out school, unlike the ‘air headed players’ had been doing, hoping to get the big bucks now rather than have a fallback for when their careers tanked.

Now as you may have noticed there must be a story behind my parents love seeing as how my mother dropped a successful basketball career to be with my father who had actually gone to her college. They had both attended school at the same time. They were in lots of the same classes together as well due to the near similar scheduling of college basketball for both sexes. My father was attaining an engineering degree while my mother was trying for an architecture degree. Due to some of the overlaps in these degrees such as physics, geometry, and such they found themselves spending lots of time together studying for their classes. Soon they began dating and the whole thing turned into a gushy-lovey-dovey "we met and fell in love at college" story...Until they were drafted to different parts of the country that is. They didn’t even try the whole long distance thing but they kept in touch until one day my mother said she just couldn’t take it anymore and dropped everything so she could be his again.

Now back to me. When second semester hit I had a huge growth spurt that lasted well into mid-summer, by

Explore my other stories

THE END