My Real Story: The Unfiltered Truth Behind Little Red Riding Hoods Infamous Encounter
My kind readers, I apologize for such a hiatus. I hope this tale makes it up to you!
Little Red Riding Hood
The creepy story parents tell their children growing up about some little girl in a red cloak and a scary wolf that pretends to be her grandmother because he - ahem - eats her, is wrong. It's dead wrong, for one, to tell children about a grandmother being eaten in any way whatsoever, physical or innuendo. And second, I'm Little Red, and the bastards totally messed up my story.
Let me set the record straight. My name's actually Lily, but I'm 5' 1" and have dark auburn hair that I tuck under my favorite red hoodie, so I've earned the nickname Little Red. Yes, they got the hood part right. I'm not a little girl, I'm actually perfectly legal in all respects, though barely. No, I wasn't going to visit grandma, I lied. I told my mom that because I was going to fool around with my boyfriend and then go see my friend Molly. Yes, I lied, okay? Get over it. That's what happens when you have to come home from college for the summer and mum and pops can't accept their little girl likes to fu--... well you know what I mean.
That's the real story. THE END
Little Red Riding Hood
The creepy story parents tell their children growing up about some little girl in a red cloak and a scary wolf that pretends to be her grandmother because he - ahem - eats her, is wrong. It's dead wrong, for one, to tell children about a grandmother being eaten in any way whatsoever, physical or innuendo. And second, I'm Little Red, and the bastards totally messed up my story.
Let me set the record straight. My name's actually Lily, but I'm 5' 1" and have dark auburn hair that I tuck under my favorite red hoodie, so I've earned the nickname Little Red. Yes, they got the hood part right. I'm not a little girl, I'm actually perfectly legal in all respects, though barely. No, I wasn't going to visit grandma, I lied. I told my mom that because I was going to fool around with my boyfriend and then go see my friend Molly. Yes, I lied, okay? Get over it. That's what happens when you have to come home from college for the summer and mum and pops can't accept their little girl likes to fu--... well you know what I mean.
That's the real story. THE END
