A Survivor's Story

"The Judgment of Sgt. J" Chapter One: "Kay's Demons take Shape"

The first chapter will be Kay's story of Sgt. J coming into her life. She prefers to tell me and have me write it with her approval.

I sit here telling my story to the man I love. However, I do so in fear of what lies ahead for the man I love. He is a loving and caring man but also one who is bullheaded. He is punishing himself, taking the blame for an event that he had no hand in what so ever. I agreed to tell my side of the story only in hopes of getting back the man I love so dearly.

I must tell you of my forgotten past in order to show you and him just what my future would have been without him. In 1973, at 16 years old I was in love with a man named Mark. The man was four years older than I. He was a smooth talker as well as a charmer. In a few short months, I ran away from home and became his wife.

Mark was a decent man at least I thought so at the time. He worked while I stayed at home. I busied myself with house work, cooking and even getting my high school diploma. Mark was a loving type of a person we were always making love. One day during our dinner, Mark grabbed me and he tossed me up onto the table

"I think you will be my desert," Mark said as his hands went to the shirt I worn.

Mark lifted the shirt over my head exposing my breasts still encased in their bra. His hands went to my back as he skillfully unhooked my bra. He removed it freeing my rather large 36 c tits. Mark lowered his face to one of my tits as his tongue traced around my nipple.

My nipple responded by growing hard as his tongue licked at it. Mark got my other nipple hard then he went from tit to tit as he suckled on them. I felt my pussy getting wet in the jeans I wore. His hands went to my jeans as he unsnapped them then unzipped them. I arose a bit from the table as his thumbs hooked around my panties as well as my jeans. Mark pulled them both from me tossing them to the floor below.

I lie upon the table in the nude. Mark pulled my legs apart as his face buried between my thighs. His tongue licked wildly at my private parts. Mark ran his tongue in and out of my pussy bringing me to a wonderful orgasm. He lifted his face from between my thighs taking his cock into his hand.

I yelled out, "Fuck me," as I felt him shove his cock into my wet pussy.

His cock ran in and out of my pussy at a steady pace. My body started to feel the pleasure from his cock. I started to buck my hips under him taking more of his cock. I was close so close to finally having an orgasm with my husbands cock in me.

Even when we were dating, I had never reached an orgasm with him using his cock on me. I had reached them with him giving me oral sex as well as fingering my pussy. However, when it came to fucking me to an orgasm it just never had happened.

"Yes fuck me make me orgasm," I screamed out.

I felt Mark shove his cock deep as I continued to buck my hips. No do not stop I thought as I felt his cock throb then twitch as his cum filled my pussy. Mark pulled his limp cock from me as he went to the bathroom and jumped into the shower. I slipped two fingers into my wet messy hole where I worked them in and out until I reached orgasm.

I should have walked out on him that very day. However, I was young and to stupid to realize how I had just screwed my whole life up by marrying him. It was not until the next day when I also realized I had not taken my birth control pills yesterday.

I kept it from Mark never telling him as I was not for sure whether I was pregnant or not until I went to the doctors. I had his favorite meal for him when he came home from work that night. I catered to him, as he got ready for dinner. During setting the table for dinner, I had added another plate.

Mark sat down as he asked, "Who's the extra plate for?"

I smiled as I replied, "It is for our baby coming in seven months."

"What you're fucking pregnant?" Mark yelled getting up from the table.

He grabbed his hat and was out the door before I could say anything else. He came home later that night drunk on his ass. The next day he told me he was sorry and that he had over reacted to my news. I believed him however, Mark took up drinking regularly every night stopping at the local bar or bringing booze home. I watched the man I loved turn into an alcoholic as my belly filled with a baby.

We had a baby girl who I named Sherri or I should say I had. For Mark never really took a liking or an interest in the child we had produced. A few months later Mark started to become verbally abusive to me. He would call me names and tell me I was good for nothing. Yet there were times when he seemed almost romantic. However, that was only when my mom was watching Sherri.

I only really put up with his abuse because I did not want to tell my mom she was right about the man I had married. She had told me before I ran away and got married he had trouble written all over his face. Mark hardly ever held or even talked to his new daughter. By the time, she was four I do not think she even knew he was her father nor did I really care for I was having a private affair with our neighbor who took care of my needs.

Mark suddenly one day gave up drinking. In a few months, he seemed to have almost returned to the man I had fell in love with before he drank. He even took a liking to his daughter finally. However, Sherri would not really go to him unless I pushed her telling her it was OK.

Mark was the one who first brought her a pad and a pencil. Sherri took to drawing right away it seemed. Sure, they were but stick figures but you could see the action of what they were doing. We were a happy family for about a year and a half.

I had a girlfriend named Cathy; we had grown up together as well as gone to school together. Cathy did not care for Mark when I was sneaking around dating him. She never really said why she did not like him other than she could not stand him.

Mark had been treating Sherri and me a lot better in the last year and a half. I thought what ever had gotten into him had finally gotten out of his system. Mark rented a porno movie one night and we watched it after Sherri was in bed.

The movie had a threesome in it between two girls and a man. Mark told me I should talk Cathy in joining us for a threesome, as it would be a lot of fun as well as maybe spicing up our marriage up a little. I thought about it for a few days with Mark telling me I would enjoy it and at least it was not like he would be fucking the bar maid down the road.

Vision of his abuse filled my head as he said that. I decided to ask Cathy if she would join us in a threesome. Cathy and I had been best friends growing up and we had been experimenting with sex since we were 12. It started out with just kissing, then fingering each other until junior high and into high school when we were almost full-blown lesbians until Mark came along.

I had kept in contact with Cathy but I never told her of the abuse I faced at the hands of Mark. I guess it was because I did not what to hear her tell me told you so. I invited her over one day and I told her my marriage was becoming a little rocky and I thought about spicing it up a little with a threesome.

"Cathy, would you join Mark and me for a threesome?" I asked her as she sat with me on the sofa.

"FUCK NO," Cathy replied. "I would not fuck him with my strap on let alone let him fuck me," she added.

I explained to her it would help our marriage and at least I would enjoy it. I told her I missed our fun together. She still told me no way. I faked some tears as I told her without it my marriage was ruined. I cried the blues about wanting my marriage to work.

"Kay, I will do it under one condition and that is if it does not help your marriage you get the hell out before you can not get out." Cathy explained taking my hand.

Neither of us enjoyed the threesome we had. Cathy told me she showered for weeks and could not get the feel of him from herself. As to helping our marriage, it only caused trouble as Mark thought I was being more loving toward Cathy than I was he. Within the next weekend after our threesome, Mark was back staying out late after work as well as drinking as he had before.

Mark went from verbally abusing me to hitting me as well as abusing me sexually when we did have sex together. Mark would pull my hair and slap my butt during sex almost to the point of bruising my butt. Now I am not against a light sensual spanking however do not leave marks on my ass.

Mark had also brought a gun around this time and he threatened me with it more than a few times. He would tell me he would kill me if I ever told anyone about his abuse toward me. Each time he abused me in some way the next day he would be telling me how sorry he was and that he was going to change. I wanted to believe him but deep within myself, I did not believe he would ever change. However I was to scared to leave him.

For Sherri's seventh birthday, Mark came home with a puppy for her. Sherri was thrilled and happy. She had a friend who would follow her around the house. Mark seemed like a better person for a while. Two months later he was back to drinking heavy again. One day Sherri was playing with her puppy in the kitchen. The puppy took to barking as they played.

Mark was asleep well passed out from a late night of drinking. The next bark from her puppy the bedroom door flew open as Mark stormed out into the kitchen. Mark told Sherri to keep that dog quiet or he would.

As Mark went back toward the bedroom I stepped in front of him blocking him as I said, "They were just playing."

"OUT of my way BITCH before I shut you up too," Mark yelled as he pushed me out of the way.

I ran to the bathroom in tears. I hated my life as well as the man I had married. I heard Sherri's puppy start to bark again as I heard our bedroom door opening. I ran into the kitchen just as I heard the gun shot.

My daughter Sherri stood in the corner with her hands covering her face screaming and crying as her puppy lie dead on the kitchen floor. I ran to Sherri covering her mouth to muffle her screams and cries out of fear he would shoot her next. Mark did not say a word he just returned to the bedroom closing the door. I grabbed Sherri by her hand and we ran out the house never looking back.

I called my girlfriend Cathy and I asked her if we could stay with her. I explained to her what had happened. I stood with Sherri on the corner waiting for Cathy to come. Sherri was no longer crying as she held my hand tight.

That sweet little child looked up to me as she said, "Mommy I still love you."

A few days later I had the police go with me to get my stuff as Cathy had given me enough money to get my divorce started as well as a restraining order placed on him. Sherri and I moved in with Cathy. Her and I shared a bedroom while Sherri had the other bedroom. My sweet little girl was traumatized all she did was sit it the bedroom drawing in her drawing pad Cathy had gotten for her. I asked if she wanted to talk about it.

"Not now mommy but someday, maybe someday I will," Sherri said to me.

I confined in Cathy about all the abuse we had faced with Mark. She told me she knew, as I could not hide all my bruises. I also told her how it was not Mark's fault it was mine. I was just not a good wife nor was I even a good mother.

"Kay you stop that kind of talk you were the victim not the abuser," Cathy said to me. She took my hand as she added, "That is not a good example for that sweet daughter of yours, and you have to be strong for her."

Her words did not mean anything to me nor did I realize just how hurt and scarred my daughter was. Cathy worked days as a secretary while I found a night job waiting on tables at a club not far from where we lived. It worked out OK as I was home with Sherri in the daytime and Cathy took care of her at night. On my one day off a week, I would spend it with Cathy and Sherri going shopping mostly.

To be honest Sherri was in school during the day and I saw her to school and home from school before I went into work. That was only because I had to support us. Cathy spent more time with her than I ever did. Something I regret very much today. My job at the club did not pay well however I made damn good tips especially if I wore something sexy when I worked.

The first month I barely made enough to cover my share of the rent with Cathy let alone feed Sherri and myself. One of my co-workers suggested I show a little skin and be a little friendlier to the male clients. I could really use more money especially in tips. I took her advice and I started dressing sexy for my job at the bar.

I would not have even thought of doing something like that had it not been for Sherri needing new clothes as she was growing every day it seemed. The work uniforms I had to wear consisted of a black skirt, white shirt, with nylons and high heels so I was already dressed sexy. However I kept the shirt buttoned and the skirt came down to my knees.

Some of the other girls rolled their skirts up showing more leg. I noticed these girls were counting three times the amount of money I was at

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THE END