A Bi College Student's Journey of Love and Loss

Four years have passed since I last saw Alex... My name is Matthews, my friends call me Matt, today, I am 20 today. My boyfriend's name, or ex-boyfriend's name is Alex Cruz. We've been apart since we were caught having sex, thanks to that, he had to move out. I kept my promise and kept on texting him, day by day, whenever I could and eventually there was this sudden cooling of relationship. He says he found a boyfriend where he was living and that he didn't want to bind me so he was breaking up.

Well, that left me depressed for 3 weeks or so, I wasn't paying attention to classes and anything. I could only remember what we shared and text him prettending that we never even shared anything. Oh well... I lived that out, but turned out to be colder towards people, I still texted him, sometimes I was sincere, sometimes I wasn't, but hey, it wasn't my fault... I am going through a lot and I even think that I am going crazy... anywhere I go, I seem to think that I saw Alex walking around when it's just some different person.

Mark? Mark is still the same, he didn't change at all, but we don't do anything anymore because it would feel "wrong" or "weird". I was not desperated for attention in anyway... I'm in college, I don't know if it's because I'm cold or because I sit by the window, but people INSIST that I'm a cool guy when what I mostly say these days is "I don't care" "Whatever" and "Die". I changed quite a lot, not enough to be considered a goth or an emo, but I did change.

I'm in college today, studying journalism, I also share a house, and I do work, but I don't think that's important. I live my days like that, mostly alone and loveless, I don't even think that I can love someone ever again after what I've been through... I have some friends that support me, though they are not any angels, but they are cool to hang around with. There's Peter, the pervert. Eddie the This link (Mr.Pig) is not approved. Submit this link for approval, Louis the Assassin, Matthew the Jesus and Mathew the Elf. You didn't get it? I'll explain one by one... let's start with Peter.

Peter is a cool guy... save for the times he locks himself inside the bathroom with a cellphone, also, never hold his right hand, all of his interests are pretty women and sex. Eddie is kinda overweight, so to save himself from some kind of bullying, he names himself This link (Mr.Pig) is not approved. Submit this link for approval, so we all call him This link (Mr.Pig) is not approved. Submit this link for approval... Louis is simply worse than me now, for whatever reason, he hangs around with us, but he is shown to be much darker, serious and well... mortal than I do, I mean, I only get people away with words, if he could, he would get people away, with axes, in fire.... what else.... oh yeah, and he enjoys pain, he laughs like a maniac. Then there's Matthew the Jesus, well... he has a long hair... that's our reason to call him Jesus. And last but not least, Mathew the Elf, he was simply a huge HUGE fan of The Legend of Zelda.

They are nice people but not the people I would tell that I am bi, of course. Now let's talk about today.

It was the last class of the day, the usual crap of everyday... Hey, college seems fun but it isn't actually. I just did the usual and walked to get to my car with my bag, my stare was down to the street's sidewalk, the TV said that the weather was probably going to change to rainy, perfect isn't it? Depressed, Loveless, Raining. My life became a bad story, I keep myself from remembering those days so I just listen to music, you know that music "Bad Day"? It kinda became the song of my life, stop the music and you listen to a guy screaming from the parking lot, great... bullies...

I made my way to the parking lot and saw a guy holding a boy that seemed to be 18 or so by the hair, he was probably a freshmen...

"Just... release me please! Let me go!" he screamed.

"Oh no, I'm thirsty for some sex today, how about not fighting it!?" that other guy said, he seemed to be a Junior... I entered College when I was 18 so I was a senior by now, I know the kind of pain the juniors can be...

"You can't be serious!! Let me go!!" the boy screamed again.

"Shut up before I rip your tongue out!" He said covering his mouth with his hand. That's when I stepped in.

"What's this messing around...?" Turns out I actually knew that guy... his name was George, he was a troublemaker alright... the boy was crying as George pulled his hair, he was blond, it was a nice hair color...

"What do you want here you emo?" He asked me. I sighed.

"Just let him go, I don't want to be more involved into this..." I said.

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" he asked me.

"It's simple" I said popping my joints. "I'll have to put some sense into your head..." he answered nothing.

"What do you say?" I asked.

"Oh forget it...." he said releasing his hair and grabbing his wallet.

"Take the money, but give him back his stuff..." I said.

"Fine fine.... you're such a goodie two shoes..." he said as he took the money and threw the wallet on the floor, he then walked away.

"T-Thanks..." he said.

"Don't mention it..." I said getting near but going through him.

"Why did you help me?" he asked. I pressed a button and opened my car behind him.

"The car you were crying on is mine, I had to do something..." I said, he giggled at my answer.

"Thanks anyway..." he said.

"You better hurry... it's probably going to rain..." I said.

"I... I would but.... he took all my money and... I can't... get to my bus because I'm late now thanks to him..." he said. I actually felt pity for the boy...

"Do you want a ride?" I asked.

"N-No it's not necessary! I can walk home!" he said.

"Don't be an idiot, if you take a bus home, it's obviously not that close..." I said, after that he blushed somewhat hard and got inside my car on the passenger's seat.

"Sorry to be a bother..." He said.

"Nah it's cool, I'm the cause he took your money anyway... What's your name?" I said.

"My name is Luke, how about you?" he asked.

"My name is Matthews..." I said as I drove, we kept in silence for sometime, until I broke the silence... "you do know that you'll have to give me directions right? I don't know where you live..."

"Y-Yeah... sorry... just.... keep going and turn on the first left, I'll give you directions from there..." he said.

"So... why was George picking on you?" I asked.

"I... really don't know... I was walking so I'd get to the bus stop and he just stopped me, he grabbed me and started speaking all that nonsense!" he said, he then started shaking.

"Are you ok...?" I asked.

"Y-Yeah... sorry for raising my voice..." he said.

"No problem... What are you studying?" I asked him.

"I study.... turn here..." he said, as I went right.

"You study...?"

"I study psycology, I'm a freshman..." he said.

"Oh so you're 18..." I said.

"Yeah, I just turned 18 in fact..." he said.

"Well... happy birthday I guess..." I said.

"Thanks..." He said with a small smile. "What do you study?"

"I'm in my senior year of journalism" I said.

"Oh that's cool!" He said.

"I suppose... Where do I turn?" I asked.

"Hum... right... and go straigth ahead, my house is at

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THE END