Unrequited Attraction

The following is something which happened to me a few years ago while I was a junior in college. I was 21 years old and, while I had a lot of good friends and had relationships with girls in school, the other side of me which I kept hidden was the fact that I was also very sexually attracted to guys. I had never had a sexually experience with a guy, partially out of fear of being revealed, but also partially because I was in denial about myself. I wasn’t convinced I was bi, instead convincing myself that I was just curious.

Connor was a good friend I met freshman year. We had lived across the hall from each other in our dorm. I remember thinking to myself when I met him that he was quite attractive. He was partially of Asian descent, his father having moved to the States as a child and his mother American-born. He was on the tall side, I guess around 6’2”. He had a great body. He was into soccer, running, and lacrosse, so watching him walking shirtless down the dorm hall after a shower was always a pleasure. He had a somewhat dark complexion, something that he said came from his mother’s side. His hair was virtually jet black and he had the most beautiful dark brown eyes. I often fantasized about Connor, and often would use the alone time I had in the shower to satisfy some of my urges about him. Yet, even after these shower sessions, I still could never admit to myself that I was anything but straight.

As sophomores, once again we lived across from each other and we hung out even more than we did during freshman year. It was clear to see that we were each other’s best friend. So when we had the opportunity to live in a 2-bedroom apartment as juniors, the choice of roommates was easy for us.

The apartment was nice: a third floor apartment with a decent-sized living room, a super-comfortable couch, a kitchen, bathroom, and two separate bedrooms. His dad bought him a 42” flat-screen TV to put in the living room and my parents gave me a coffee table to sit in front of the couch. It was a great setup. Nothing eventful happened during the first few months. Classes, studying, and occasionally hanging out with our friends. Connor had a girlfriend, Tara. She would come over occasionally and even spent the night with Connor a few times. Admittedly, I was jealous of Tara and the relationship she had with Connor.

One afternoon on a chilly November day, I was on the couch watching some TV, having finished classes for the day. I could hear the familiar sounds of Connor’s loafers hitting each stair step towards the apartment. The door opened and Connor came through and closed the door behind him. He made his way towards me. I assumed he was going to sit on the couch next to me, but to my surprise, he sat on my lap. I was frozen and nervous. It didn’t help me when he started talking.

“Hold me Nick.” His voice sounded almost longing and seductive.

I didn’t know how to react. Was I even awake? This was an ultimate fantasy of mine. Do I make the most of this and go for it? I knew if he sat on my lap for any length of time I would get hard. But before I could react, he stood up and laughed. My head made sense of what had just happened, he was playing around. I was disappointed, but relieved that I didn’t do anything stupid that would have given the game away.

He went to his room to change into comfortable clothes. I went into the bathroom to jack off and relieve the tension… and relive the experience of his tight ass against my crouch.

A couple of weeks went by and we were coming close to winter break. Everyone was in freak-out mode over the upcoming exams. I spent one afternoon at the library trying to study in as quiet of an environment as possible. I got a little tired and decided to call it a day. I walked to the apartment and saw that Connor was not in. I went to my room, tore my clothes off and put on a t-shirt and pajama pants. I plopped down on the couch and turned on the tube. After a while I was almost asleep when I heard Connor coming up the stairs. He came in, closed the door, took his coat off and put it on the rack, then took his shoes off and put them by the door. He looked exhausted.

“Where have you been?” I asked

“Working with my group on a class project we need to finish by tomorrow. Holy shit was that excruciating.”

He walked towards me. Surely he’s not going to do what he did before. But, sure enough, he sits on my lap. He turned his top half around enough so he could put his arm around me and pull me close.

“Cuddle with me, Nick.” He said.

I figured he was joking around again, but I didn’t want this to end. I looked down at his perfect ass being enveloped in khaki pants and just inches away from my dick. I had to respond, so I acted like I was simply carrying on the joke.

“Ok, baby. I can make it all better.” I waited for him to laugh and get up, but after several seconds he was still there. I did everything I could to keep my dick from hardening, thinking about anything but the situation I was in.

To this day, I’m not sure what possessed me to do what I did next. I put my left hand on the top of his left thigh. I suppose that if he were joking, he would just see me as joking along with him, but if he really wanted me, maybe I could convince him to take the next step.

I rubbed his thigh up and down, each time getting closer to his cock. I turned my eyes from his ass to his eyes. His eyes also turned to mine. The force was overwhelming. Our heads slowly came together. I parted my lips and he parted his. Our lips met. I remember thinking that this was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. We massaged our tongues together in the most passionate kiss I had ever known. My hand made its way to Connor’s cock, rubbing it through his pants. As we continued to kiss, his hand went under my shirt, rubbing my chest and stomach. Just like Connor, I didn’t have anything much in terms of chest hair, so his hand felt smooth as it worked my torso.

Connor pulled away. I was so scared that he would snap out of this and get embarrassed or angry and leave. Instead, he repositioned himself, putting a knee on either side of my thighs and facing me. He reached down to the bottom of his sweater and pulled it off to reveal his smooth, tanned chest and stomach. I wasted no time doing what I had dreamed of doing for so long. I leaned in and began to lick and suck on his right nipple. My hands reached around and deeply massaged his ass. His moaning got me as hard as I had ever been. I began to do the same to the left nipple and Connor put both of his hands around my head, stroking the hair at the back of my head. I took my own hands and unbuckled Connor’s belt. Then I plunged them into the back of his pants so that I could feel his silky smooth ass cheeks.

Connor pushed me until my back was against the couch. He leaned into kiss me, but only briefly. He pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it across the room. Then he started to lick his way down to my chest, then to my right nipple, then to my stomach. He held there while his hands pulled down my pajama pants. My rock-hard cock sprang out. Connor wasted no time. He plunged my dick into his mouth, sucking violently on it. His left hand held the base of my cock while he bobbed up and down, taking most of my 7 inches of meat. Just for a moment, I had enough clarity of mind to look down and think about the scene in front of me. The boy I had longed for, my deepest and most secret fantasy, my best friend in the world, was sucking my dick hungrily. It’s an image I’ll carry with me the rest of my life.

After a few minutes, I had that familiar feeling in my dick. I was going to cum soon, but I didn’t want to so soon.

I pushed back on Connor’s shoulders. “Stand up on the couch over me.”

Connor followed my direction. He put his right foot on the couch next to my left thigh and his left foot next to my right thigh. As he stood in front of me, I couldn’t wait to unleash the bulge before my face. I pulled down his pants and did the same with his boxers. His cock was hard, though probably an inch shorter than mine. I put my hands on his ass and pulled him closer, gaping my mouth open to receive his manhood. I took it all, every last centimeter into my throat.

“Holy fuck”, Connor moaned. I think I impressed him with my abilities. Although I had never sucked a cock before, I had practiced enough to become pretty good.

He tasted like heaven. I felt a small sample of precum on my tongue and I wanted the main course. Connor saw what I could do and started to move his hips back and forth, throat-fucking me in perfect rhythm. While he took control with this, I moved my right hand to his ass. Hoping he wouldn’t overreact or get frightened, I began to penetrate his hole with my index finger. To my gratitude, this only made him groan louder. The thought struck me that our downstairs neighbors, or anyone outside the door for that matter, would be able to hear us. I didn’t care. As a matter of fact I didn’t care if the whole world knew.

Connor began to pump in and out faster and faster. His moaning and breathing was off the charts. I doubted it would take him much longer. Sure enough, he gave me the warning.

“I’m gonna cum!”

He started to slow down and pull out. I wouldn’t let him. I pulled him back in to finish the job. He absolutely exploded into my mouth and throat. The thick load tasted so sweet to me. Without hesitation I swallowed it all, pulled his cock out of my mouth, and licked away every drop.

“Oh my god” Connor exclaimed, appreciative of the task performed on him.

He looked down and noticed my dick was still solid. He looked up at me and smiled. He kicked off his pants and boxers, which had been at his ankles and covering my thighs, onto the floor. Still facing me, he bent his knees and simultaneously grabbed my cock with his left hand, positioning it just outside of his hole. After a moment’s hesitation, he bent his knees a little more until my cock head poked into his hole. It was unbelievably tight. He grimaced. After a few seconds he let a little more of me inside him. I barely fit. His virgin hole clenched around my pulsating dick to the point when I actually believed it got stuck. He was, again, just taking it a little at a time. At that point he pulled up a little and back down. He continued doing this and eventually picked up the pace. He was more comfortable now and began to take more and more of me with a quickening pace. It got to the point where of us started to enjoy it. I held on to his hips while he put his hands on my shoulders to stabilize him. Both of us started groaning in pleasure.

I noticed that he was getting hard again, so I reached down and began jerking him off, which made him moan even louder.

“Fuck baby, I love your cock inside me.”

I replied, “I fucking love you baby. I always have.”

He smiled and continued dropping down and back up on my manhood.

He shouted, “Oh fuck!” and with that he blew his load all over my chest and stomach. This made me want to cum too.

“I’m gonna cum baby” I warned him. I expected him to climb off so I could blow my load either on him or in his mouth, but he stayed on me.

“Cum inside me.”

That’s all I needed. I felt rope after rope of hot cum going into his sweet asshole. I gave one last groan as the final bit of load was blown out of me and I sighed. Connor collapsed on top of me against the couch. We froze there trying to catch our breath we he pulled back and looked at me. When my eyes met his, we laughed. It was the greatest experience either one of us had ever had and we were completely drained. He leaned in and we kissed for a few moments until he lifted up off of me.

He went to the bathroom to clean up. I sat there in ecstasy, having a fantasy come true yet also left to face the realization that I had to make a choice: either keep hiding my feelings or admit my sexuality to the world. Because after today, there was no way I could look at myself in the mirror and say I was 100% straight.