Unrequited Attraction The following is something which happened to me a few years ago while I was a junior in college. I was 21 years old and, while I had a lot of good friends and had relationships with girls in school, the other side of me which I kept hidden was the fact that I was also very sexually attracted to guys. I had never had a sexually experience with a guy, partially out of fear of being revealed, but also partially because I was in denial about myself. I wasn’t convinced I was bi, instead convincing myself that I was just curious. Connor was a good friend I met freshman year. We had lived across the hall from each other in our dorm. I remember thinking to myself when I met him that he was quite attractive. He was partially of Asian descent, his father having moved to the States as a child and his mother American-born. He was on the tall side, I guess around 6’2”. He had a great body. He was into soccer, running, and lacrosse, so watching him walking shirtless down the dorm hall after a shower was always a pleasure. He had a somewhat dark complexion, something that he said came from his mother’s side. His hair was virtually jet black and he had the most beautiful dark brown eyes. I often fantasized about Connor, and often would use the alone time I had in the shower to satisfy some of my urges about him. Yet, even after these shower sessions, I still could never admit to myself that I was anything but straight. As sophomores, once again we lived across from each other and we hung out even more than we did during freshman year. It was clear to see that we were each other’s best friend. So when we had the opportunity to live in a 2-bedroom apartment as juniors, the choice of roommates was easy for us. The apartment was nice: a third floor apartment with a decent-sized living room, a super-comfortable couch, a kitchen, bathroom, and two separate bedrooms. …but everything was about to change
